


Mistakes

by AllyUnabridged



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Book: New Moon, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-06 07:20:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12206505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllyUnabridged/pseuds/AllyUnabridged
Summary: "As if the abrupt motions had jarred my mind loose from the confusion shrouding it, I put action and reaction into focus. The attack on my birthday. Alice, gone. Edward, hardly saying a word. I knew." What will Bella's next move be?





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! If you're reading "A Circle in the Sand," you know that I mentioned a new story in my last update. This thing has kept me from concentrating on ACitS as much as I'd have liked, but I did manage to wait until this one was finished before I started posting it. I'll post a new chapter every day, and hopefully this will keep you occupied while I work on ACitS. 
> 
> As this story will prove, I'm a little obsessed with "fixing" New Moon. Seriously, it's my least favorite book out of the four. But I won't start a rant about it now. Instead, I'll show you how things might have happened if Bella had just been as observant as Stephenie Meyer kept saying she was.  
> Disclaimer: The characters belong to Ms. Meyer. This AU idea, and everything that happens in it, is all mine.

BPOV

The events of the last twenty-four hours played through my mind as I drove towards my job at the Newton's store. My birthday, full of embarrassment and, ultimately, pain and fear. Alice's disappearance. I hadn't seen my best friend in days. The distance Edward was putting between us. It was all connected somehow, but trying to find the answer felt like trudging through thick mud. Each time I thought I had the answer, the muck drew it back just out of my reach.

I pulled into the small parking lot at work, still lost in thought. The lot was almost empty, as was usual at that time of day. The arrival of my truck, ancient engine roaring, startled a flock of swallows into motion. My eyes followed their graceful swooping flight over and past the squat tan building where I earned my miniscule paycheck. Where one went, the others were quick to follow, I mused as the sight distracted me momentarily from my brooding.

As if the abrupt motions had jarred my mind loose from the confusion shrouding it, I put action and reaction into focus. The attack on my birthday. Alice, gone. Edward, hardly saying a word. I knew.

They were leaving. That single thought tore the blinders off my eyes and caused my foot to slam down on the brake pedal. No one was behind me, so I could sit and stare forward as the truth of my situation settled over me. The love of my life and his family, most of whom I loved more than any other person on this planet other than my parents, were leaving. I was as sure of that as I was of my own name. A small, hopeful side of me tried to shout that of course they would take me with them. Then Edward's face, solemn and more drawn than I had ever seen, popped into my mind's eye. No. They weren't planning for me to follow.

Somehow, despite my churning stomach and building headache, I managed to find a parking space and crawled out of my truck. Every movement ripped a hole in my middle until, by the time I made it into the store, I felt so raw and exposed that all I wanted to do was run back to my truck, scramble inside, and hide against the sudden harshness of the world.

Mrs. Newton manned the single open register, and she looked up with an expectant expression when I stumbled in. From the shock in her blue eyes and the way she hurried around the counter, I knew I must look almost as horrible as I felt.

"Bella, you look like death warmed over! Have you caught the bug going around?" she tutted over me. I noticed she didn't come close, probably afraid that I was contagious. That was a relief. I had no idea if I would break down completely from a single touch at that point.

In the normal course of things, I worked every hour I could get. This was the perfect opportunity given everything else going on in my life, though. "I guess I might have. I felt okay at school, but now I'm kind of nauseous and lightheaded." It wasn't a lie, and the weak rasping of my voice confirmed it.

Mrs. Newton shook her head and bustled around the counter. "I should have expected it. It's the same every year. You kids all get herded back into those closed little classrooms, and the bugs start spreading like wildfire. Well, you should go home then. There's no use spreading this farther," she instructed, shooing me away with her hands.

I gave a slow nod and began to turn, but stopped when she called my name. I looked back to see her holding out an envelope as far away from her body as she could.

"I almost forgot your paycheck, dear. Do try to feel better."

The smile I tried for was more of a grimace as my fingers closed around the thin paper. Looking at the snowy envelope dangling from my fingertips brought back the memory of the tiny papercut, which reminded me that my world was crumbling around me. I dragged in deep breaths, trying not to cry in front of my boss.

Thankfully, Mrs. Newton didn't comment. "Now get on home."

I nodded, a stiff mechanical tilt of my head, and made my way outside with my paycheck clenched against my side. Autopilot took me to the cab of my truck where I sat for several seconds trying to draw air into my aching lungs. I knew Mrs. Newton would become concerned if I sat there too long. I fumbled my key out of my pocket and jammed it into the ignition. The truck roared to life, and I backed out and pulled onto the road.

I didn't want to go home. Edward might stop by. The cynical part of me, the one that couldn't understand what he saw in me, told me he was going to say goodbye sooner or later, and what better place than my home? I couldn't stand dealing with the thought. It made my stomach clench harder.

The bank was a logical choice if I wanted to avoid going home. I always deposited my paycheck the day after I received it since the lone bank in Forks closed before Newton's did. But it was early enough that they would still be open. I turned the truck in that direction and did my best not to think. Thinking would lead to more destruction of my soul.

The drive to the bank from Newton Outfitter's location on the edge of town was a blur of nothingness. Without thinking much about it, I arrived. I parked outside the grey and white building with its large windows that were a painful reminder of another building, a home, with similar windows. I couldn't think of that, though, or I risked tearing the hole in my chest open so far that I would fall in.

The dim fluorescent lights of the bank felt blinding as I stepped inside, paycheck in hand. A single teller sat behind a thick glass window. She looked up from her crossword puzzle at my entrance, and her faded blue-grey eyes lit up with a smile.

"Bella! How nice to see you. I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow."

I tried to tilt the corners of my stiff lips up in a smile. "I'm taking the evening off work to take care of Charlie, Mrs. Johnson. I think he caught the bug that's been going around." The lie slipped out with surprising ease as I handed her my envelope through the slot at the bottom of her window.

She clucked a little as she took it. "Poor thing. That bug laid my Harry low a few weeks ago. It passed quick, thank goodness," she assured me with a small shake of her short blue curls.

I nodded to show I heard her, but my eyes were busy skimming over the deposit form as I filled it out. Something tickled the back of my mind and caused me to select a withdrawal slip as well. I entered the necessary information under the surprised gaze of Mrs. Johnson.

She raised her eyebrows when I handed her both slips. "Doing some early Christmas shopping?" she asked when she saw the amount I was withdrawing.

Thankful for the provided excuse, I nodded. "The Cullens were so generous for my birthday, and it'll be my first Christmas with my dad. I want everything to be perfect," I tried to say with as much cheer as possible.

Her eyes clouded and her mouth opened, but then it snapped shut again. Whatever she was going to say, I was sure I didn't want to hear it. I was very grateful when she counted out five one-hundred-dollar bills without comment. I avoided her sad gaze when she handed them to me.

"All done. Have a good evening," she told me. I gave her another forced smile as I stuffed the cash in my jacket pocket and headed back out into thin rays of sunshine, the first in days. I welcomed the warmth of sun on my face, although I shied away from examining why. Again, it was better to act without thinking. Thinking would lead to remembering, and that would lead to more pain.

Once back in my truck, I wasn't sure what to do. Part of me wanted to go to the Cullens' house, to prove to myself that I was wrong. Another part of me wanted to go home and snuggle down in bed, pull the blankets over my head, and hide. I did neither. Instead, I started the truck, made it out onto the road again, and drove.

At first, I paid very little attention to where I was going. Buildings began to sprout up around me, far more than Forks could boast. I was approaching Port Angeles. A quick glance at my fuel gauge told me I would need to stop soon, but I wasn't ready. I wasn't far enough away yet.

I tried not to look around as I drove, tried not to see the street that would take me to Bella Italia. As I turned my head to the right, a billboard caught my eye. Greyhound.

I made no decisions as I turned onto the advertised street. I made no decisions as I parked my truck and hopped out. I made no decisions as I grabbed my backpack, still on the bench seat. I made no decisions as I left the truck unlocked and the keys in the ignition. I made no decisions as I walked two blocks to the small ticket window.

I made one decision and bought a bus ticket to Portland. It ate up more of my cash than I would have liked, but it was necessary. Ten minutes later I was on a bus as it headed out of the depot onto 101. The further away I got with no strange interruptions despite the fine drizzle of rain now blanketing the landscape, the surer I became. They were gone. The Cullens had left with no goodbyes, no regret. They were gone from my life, and now so was I.

If I wasn't in Forks, I couldn't confirm anything. I didn't have to face losing the love of my life, of my existence, to a single stupid papercut. Didn't have to face long lonely days where the only people I wanted to see were nowhere in sight.

I huddled down in my seat, wrapped my jacket around myself to try and close the gaping hole where my heart should be, and closed my eyes to shut out the world. I wouldn't sleep, but I had no desire to make small talk with strangers while my world was falling apart. Unfortunately, I now had no distraction from the way my world was falling apart.

I spent the two-hour drive wallowing, and as I did, the pain changed. It morphed into a fierce anger. Why did it seem like he was always running away from me? He said he loved me, but even when we were so happy over the summer, sometimes it felt as if he was waiting for a reason to push me away or as if he expected me to leave. I tried to ignore it, but the feeling always lingered in the background as my body healed from the fiasco in Phoenix and school ended for the year. Our time together was blissful but desperate. It was as if we were trying to cram years of living into one beautiful summer.

If he had let the change happen in Phoenix instead of sucking out the venom James left in my system, none of this would have happened. Granted, I wouldn't be able to be near Charlie or Renee anymore, which would have been crushing in its own way. That abstract concept held little weight in comparison to the thought of losing him, though. If I was a vampire there would be no more arguments about birthdays, no disastrous parties where a papercut could send my immortal boyfriend into a frenzy of guilt and self-hatred. I was no fool. I knew that's what he was doing the last few days, even if I didn't want to admit it to myself. I should have predicted that something like this might happen. I didn't need Alice to tell me that Edward would overreact to the situation. Hadn't I been expecting it since the second I saw Jasper lunge towards me?

Edward said he loved me but wasn't willing to allow the one thing to happen that would have kept me with him for eternity. What did that even mean? Wasn't his love as strong as mine? Or did emotions become weaker when someone became a vampire, to the point where even love wasn't enough of a reason to stay with someone else forever? Were the Cullens really a family the way they seemed to be, or were the bonds they felt less than I ever imagined? Could it be that they were just together for protection's sake or to stave off the loneliness?

These thoughts and more captured my mind in a maelstrom as the bus moved along. The hum of the engine, quiet chatter of other passengers, and an occasional jolt from a pothole were the only indications that we were moving further away from Port Angeles. The steady movement of the bus changed so smoothly I didn't notice our decreased speed until the forward motion ceased. I opened my eyes and glanced out the window. Two rows of cars, headlights shining in the evening gloom, sat next to us. We had stopped at a traffic light. We were in the outskirts of Seattle. We must have crossed the Hood Canal Bridge easily, as well as Applewood Cove. That wasn't surprising given the time of day. Most people were at home with their families, making dinner and sitting down to eat.

I should have been home. I planned to make baked chicken with roasted vegetables for Charlie tonight. It's always such a challenge to get him to eat right. He was like a picky little kid who only wants peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or macaroni and cheese for every meal. Except in Charlie's case, he would be happy with pizza, fish, and beer.

Thinking about Charlie hurt, but the thought of losing Edward hurt worse. I had to try to outrun the pain. Charlie would never have understood because I couldn't explain what was going on. Like this past spring, he'd be better off this way. It was easier to shut off the pain, ignore both it and the anger I felt at Edward, the further away from Forks that I went. I knew it wouldn't last, but I welcomed the numbness. It wrapped around me as I pushed my emotions away, locking them into a box somewhere deep inside for as long as I could.

The bus continued with a jolt. I was able to see some of the downtown Seattle skyline through the windshield, even from my seat toward the back. A strange unease settled in the pit of my stomach. Once upon a time I would have been ecstatic to put Washington behind me, but now I desperately wanted to stay. The thing that made life in this dreary state worth it was going to be taken away from me, though, so what was the point?

It didn't take long after we entered the city to get to the bus station. I watched other passengers make their way to the front while a smaller group waited more or less patiently to get inside, the line snaking around my side of the bus. A short man with mousy brown hair caught my eye as he waited to board, and my breath hitched in my throat. The man could have been James' human twin, right down to the cruel sneer he gave an older woman who bumped into him.

There was no way I could be on the same bus as him. I scrambled to my feet, managing not to fall on my face, and made a beeline for the back of the line getting off. Seattle wasn't quite far away enough, but it would have to do for the night. I would find somewhere cheap to stay the night and continue in the morning. Or I could get a job waiting tables for a few days to earn some more cash so that I could go farther south. Surely there were places willing to pay under the table and ask no questions in a city like this.

I shuffled off the bus, head hanging so that I wouldn't catch the eye of the James doppelganger. The crowd around the station drew me in, a mixture of men and women in business suits and casual travelers like I seemed to be. I thought about purchasing another ticket now, but I didn't want to wait any longer than I had to in such an obvious spot in case "someone" came looking. Instead, I needed to find a safe place to spend the night and somewhere to eat. I wasn't going to make any decisions about either ahead of time, though. Decisions were dangerous, even if I could be sure my movements weren't being monitored.

Despite a mediocre breakfast I hadn't been able to choke down due to the tension and lunch that was barely picked over, I wasn't particularly hungry. I knew I would need some kind of fuel for my body to get through the next few days, though, so I started looking as I made my way down the busy sidewalk. I wasn't sure I would be able to force down much, my stomach still tied in knots of anxiety, but I didn't want to faint in the middle of an unfamiliar city because I ignored my body's needs, either.

The streets were crowded despite the encroaching darkness of dusk. I must have become too used to small town life in Forks. It felt as if everyone I passed was staring at me, even though I knew that couldn't be true. Still, I could have sworn I felt eyes on me even as I avoided meeting anyone's gaze, my own fixed on the toes of my shoes and the cracks in the sidewalk ahead of me.

I followed the scent of barbecue to a nearby shopping center. The thought of all that sauce and grease caused my stomach to churn. However, the menu posted outside of the restaurant listed salad, so I went inside. A few minutes later, I sat in a booth, my backpack resting beside me on the worn brown upholstery of the bench seat. I shoved my fork into lettuce and vegetables and brought it to my mouth, over and over. I made it halfway through my salad before my stomach lurched in protest. I reached out to pick up my glass of water, hoping that a sip would calm me enough to finish my food. A cold, hard hand clamped down on my wrist, halting the motion. I looked up into black eyes surrounded by wildly curly red hair.

"Hello, pet. Aren't you a little far from home?"

I recognized her, the female who was with James when their little group of three found us months ago in that field. Her voice surprised me, high and childlike despite the hiss I heard beneath the words. She bared her teeth in what a human observer might have assumed was a smile, and I felt shards of ice slide down my spine. I drew in a breath, but her fingers tightened even more on my arm.

"Don't think about calling for help. After all, what could these humans do against me? And wouldn't a fuss bring attention to that precious family of yours?" The way she sneered at me let me know that attention would not be a good thing for any of us, no matter what she wanted with me. "Now, why don't you pay your bill like a good little girl and then come with me."

It wasn't a question, and I knew I wouldn't be able to fight her. I pulled out my wallet with one hand, fished out a twenty, and left it on the table for the waitress to find. As soon as the paper fluttered onto the table, she dragged me away, her arm looped through mine like we were the best of friends. I thought of my backpack, still sitting in the booth, and my wallet that dropped onto the table when she pulled me away. Maybe they would be able to give Charlie some kind of closure once he started looking for me. From the sickening gleam in Victoria's hungry eyes, I doubted I'd be getting out of this one alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, what do you think? What's going to happen next? I guess you'll have to wait until tomorrow!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here is Chapter 2! I struggled with this one for a while during the writing phase and again during editing. I needed to set the right tone and make sure the events from the book made sense in conjunction with my deviation. Please note, I did not use any dialogue or descriptions from the books in this story. It's more the overall storyline I'm trying to put together.

EPOV

I cursed the sun when it came out, preventing me from doing what must be done. I stood outside of my family's home, helpless against the memories on constant replay. Blood, such a small amount but so unexpected. The rich, delicious aroma sent us all over the edge, if only for a moment. But that moment was enough to amplify Jasper's bloodlust enough that he lunged, his body demanding that he devour while his mind was enshrouded in terror at what he knew he was about to do. I jumped on my brother, tackled him to the floor even as he launched himself at the center of my universe. It was too late, though, and we knocked into Bella, resulting in a larger cut and the need to drag Jasper out of the room, Emmett and myself on either side.

That string of events lasted only seconds, but it destroyed any hopes I had for future happiness. I knew what needed to be done. I argued with my family all that night after I dropped Bella off at home, the ones still in the house and Alice over the phone while she tried to console her husband. We needed to leave. Bella's life was in danger every moment we stayed with her, and I could not stand it anymore. I pulled every card I could think of to convince them to leave, to allow me to make a private, clean break. As expected, my only ally was Rosalie. She resented Bella's cavalier attitude about her humanity. Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Emmett took longer to convince. Jasper never spoke during the argument, even though we all would have heard him, too consumed by guilt over his close call to weigh in with an opinion. After hours of arguing, we wore the others down, although none of them were happy about it.

I knew it wouldn't be easy. Alice warned me that Bella would not let me go without a word of protest. I had a plan for that, one I thought up after I made Alice promise not to look for Bella's future anymore or my own for the next few days. Bella herself was the inspiration for my plan. I remembered the way she lied to her father this past spring so that she could leave, drawing danger away from him. I would not enjoy it, but I would lie to save her life. It was the only conceivable way.

The sun disappeared behind the ever-present cloudbank. Tiny droplets of rain splattered against the windows behind me. I could have gotten into my car then. I should have. But was it so wrong to stand in the rain, close my eyes, and pretend for a few minutes that this wasn't happening? After almost a century without love, I had to abandon it in the most sacrilegious manner possible. Who wouldn't want to avoid that?

Once the sky darkened, I knew that my time was almost up. I could no longer delude myself that the most painful action I would ever take could be avoided. She would be home from work soon. I would have a small window to talk with her outside of her house before Charlie declared it was time for her to head upstairs to bed.

I took a moment to check that the doors to the house were locked, aware that Esme would want that even though I knew we would never return. After all, there were still things to move, items we didn't mind a moving company taking. Then I headed for my car, alone and forlorn in the garage where days prior it was one of many. I wouldn't leave it here, although I also wouldn't park close to Bella's house. I would not be able to force myself back here after, so stopping somewhere in between seemed the best bet.

In mere minutes I stopped to park at the edge of the tiny business district in town. Some of the storefronts were still lit, although most were dark at this hour. A few cars still parked along the road, making my own less unusual.

I walked towards Bella's house in the evening gloom, for once having no difficulty keeping a human pace. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to hurt her, and I could only hope that she would forget me as humans are capable of doing. The very thought was enough to make me want to rip and tear, devour and consume everything in my path. The rage called to the dark side of my nature, the one that fought against necessity and demanded that I make her mine in every way possible. That alone was enough to force my hand, and I fought for control as I trudged along the sidewalks. I resisted temptation with every step I took. Changing her to keep her with me would imperil her soul, a soul so full of innocence and purity that the thought of its corruption was unbearable. I could not risk her that way, no matter what selfish desires tried to convince me that it would work out.

Finally, I reached her house, but only Charlie's cruiser sat outside. I frowned over that. She should have been home by now, yet her truck was nowhere in sight. I caught only the slightest hint of her scent, revealing that she hadn't been home since she left for school earlier in the day. Bella rarely changed her routine. Even if she stopped at Thriftway on the way home from work, she should have been back. Had she stayed late at work? Newton's Outfitters would be closing soon, but I supposed it was possible. Just in case, I turned my attention to Charlie's thoughts inside the house. He was difficult to read, something that often made me wonder if Bella's silence had a genetic component. Listening to his thoughts often felt like I was trying to tune into a radio station almost out of range, and this time was no exception. He seemed to be thinking along the same lines as I was, wondering if Bella had stayed at work for some reason. He also thought that she might have gone over to our house after work and lost track of time.

I could hear him shuffle around, pulling a beer out of the fridge and cracking it open. Next, he moved toward the phone, and I focused on the sound of him picking it up and dialing. The familiar voice of Mrs. Newton, the unfortunate mother of Mike, answered after the second ring.

"Hello, Newton's Olympic Outfitters, Karen speaking. How may I help you?"

"Mrs. Newton, it's Chief Swan. Is Bella working extra hours today?"

Karen Newton drew in a sharp breath. "Bella didn't work at all today, Chief. She came in looking dead on her feet, so I told her to go home. I thought she had that bug Mike got last week."

I could hear the frown in Charlie's voice. "Oh, well she must be at the store getting some medicine." He tried to sound nonchalant so that the Newton woman wouldn't worry, but he was about as good as his daughter at hiding his emotions.

The woman on the other end of the line wanted to believe him, though. "That must be it! I'd better go finish locking up. Good night, Chief."

"Night." His thoughts were a mess as he hung up. He knew as well as I that Bella's shift started hours ago. Even if she had stopped at the store for medicine on the way home, she would have been home by that point.

His next move was going to be dialing our house, but I couldn't let him do that. Our land line had already been disconnected for the move. Esme took care of that before she left. No matter how much I wanted to rush to figure out where Bella was, I was obligated to protect my family from suspicions. Like it or not, Charlie Swan was the highest-ranking police officer in this town. I had to make sure he had no reason to connect us with whatever was going on with Bella.

I moved the final few feet to the door and knocked even as Charlie began to dial again. He sighed and put down the phone. His steps were heavy on the linoleum floor as he forced himself to answer the knock, even though all he wanted to do was keep looking for Bella.

The shock on his face when he opened the door would have been amusing under any other circumstances. My features already schooled into a polite mask, I gave him as much of a smile as I could muster and asked, "Hello, Chief. Is Bella home?"

He coughed a little and shook his head. "No, son. I was about to call to see if she was at your house."

I looked down, the picture of disappointment. "Oh. I thought her truck finally died and she couldn't reach me to get a ride home. My phone died earlier and I didn't realize, and our home phone--well, I wanted to tell her first, but you wouldn't have been able to reach us on that, Chief. My father convinced my mother to let him take a job opportunity in Los Angeles. They've already started shutting down the utilities and moving us. My sister and mother headed down there today, actually, to find somewhere for us to live." I did my best to sound morose about this. It wasn't hard. I didn't want to leave Bella, and I was very concerned about her current whereabouts.

Charlie's eyebrows drew together. "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Edward. I guess you were coming to tell Bella?"

"Yeah, it was pretty unexpected. My parents didn't want to tell us until they knew for sure, and then everything's gone so fast. I've only known for a couple days, and I didn't know how to tell her. I figured school wouldn't be the best place, you know?"

Charlie Swan was not a man who enjoyed emotional drama of any sort. Instead of trying to commiserate with me, he sighed and said, "Well, when Bella gets home I'll have her call your cell phone, if that's okay with you. You two could meet up before you and Carlisle head out."

I echoed his sigh and turned away. "I hope so. We're leaving tomorrow and I just--I want to give her a least a little warning. This whole thing is so messed up." I made sure to sound like a bitter teenager, which is how I felt for the most part over the insanity my existence had become anyway.

Charlie clapped his hand on my shoulder. "I'm sure you two will figure something out. I need to go now, though. I'd better drive around a little and see if you're right. That truck of hers probably did break down somewhere."

I nodded and turned away to leave, pacing down the sidewalk with my shoulders slumped. I kept up that posture until he went back inside to grab his keys and strap his gun back on, an automatic action whenever he was planning to leave the house. As soon as I knew he was no longer looking, I sped up a little. I didn't want to be too far away when he came back out, but I desperately needed to get somewhere that I could stop and make a phone call. Charlie may or may not be able to find her, but I had an ace up my sleeve. Wherever Bella was, I had a way to locate her.

Once Charlie drove by in the cruiser, I faded into the shadows at the end of his street and dug into my pocket to retrieve my cell phone. It was dark, silent. She was keeping her promise that she wouldn't watch. Now I cursed my own weakness, my inability to face her if she knew what happened this night and what I planned to say if necessary. Had I put Bella's safety in jeopardy yet again? I pressed a button on my Blackberry and raised it to my ear, although I didn't need to. Even in the dark, appearances were appearances.

"Edward?" I surprised her, meaning that she really was trying not to watch for me.

"Alice, I need you to look for Bella," I barked out in a whisper, forcing down the rising panic.

"Giving up your ridiculous idea so soon, brother?" she mocked me.

"This is serious. Bella left work early but still isn't home yet. Charlie has no idea where she is. I have to know that she's okay."

Alice growled and then went silent. I knew that she was looking, and I wished that I was there to see what she saw. Never have I regretted being unable to read the mind of someone in my family more. Was Bella lying in a ditch somewhere, hurt because of her unreliable vehicle or even sick as Mrs. Newton believed? I dismissed the thought of illness almost immediately. Bella had smelled fine earlier, no hint of the most recent virus in her bloodstream.

"That's strange." Alice's muttered comment pulled me back from my fears, but only by a miniscule amount.

"What? What do you see?" I allowed the hysteria to gain ground at the confusion in her voice.

"I'm not getting a lot on her. I'm not sure she's making many decisions right now. She's fine, although she looks like hell. I see her sitting in a restaurant somewhere eating. But I don't recognize the place. From the little bit I can see out the window next to her, it doesn't look like Port Angeles. The buildings are too crowded, too close together. If I didn't know better, I would say she's in a city. It's going to happen soon, within the next few minutes. She's alone, though, and unharmed."

The closest city that Bella could possibly be in at this time of day, given the speed her truck was capable of, was Seattle. That would have been a stretch for the poor old thing, but doable. But why was she there? The last time Bella "didn't make decisions," she went off to save her mother from James. What could have caused her to drive to Seattle on a school night with no warning? She had to know that she would worry Charlie, not to mention me. A feeling of horror washed over me, causing my teeth to grind together as I pinched the bridge of my nose between my fingers.

I mentally reviewed her behavior of the past few days since that awful night. She was quiet, but that was only after I began to distance myself from her. I sensed an anxious edge to her touch, what little there was, as if she was trying to convince herself that I was still there. Could she have guessed? What had she been planning this whole time I was preparing to tear myself from her to save her?

My love was a clever, intelligent woman, but above all she was stubborn. It was one reason I anticipated that she wouldn't be easy to convince that she needed to let me go and move on, even though I was sure she wouldn't feel the pain of my leaving to the same level. I supposed it was possible that she would attempt to delay the inevitable if she did guess what I was about to do. And she wouldn't tell Charlie because she knew his mind wouldn't be safe from me.

Then again, was it possible that this was entirely unrelated to my own actions? We hadn't heard anything from Victoria, James' mate, since his death, but my family and I were aware that she would most likely want vengeance for his death. Had she somehow communicated with Bella without my knowledge, using a method like the one her mate chose? Had she threatened to hurt Charlie if Bella didn't meet her? My mind raced with the possibilities, at once accepting and rejecting them all.

"Edward?" Alice's scared voice called to me. I zeroed in on her once more. "You need to go get Carlisle. Victoria found her. She hasn't made any decisions yet, but all the futures I'm seeing--she's going to kill Bella."

I roared in rage, forgetting where I was for a moment, and the call ended when I crushed the phone in my hand. I would have to get another one, soon, but first I had to go to the hospital where Carlisle was clearing out his office. I didn't look forward to the disappointment I knew I would see in his eyes, but I needed his help. Somehow, we were going to have to comb Seattle and find Victoria before she killed Bella. I held very little hope that we would be successful.

I left my car in Forks and ran to the hospital, not caring if anyone would wonder at it sitting there for a while. Reaching Carlisle was more important. I reached the low brick building within minutes. He was standing outside, near his car, and I slowed down enough to barely appear human as I broke through the tree line. Thankfully there were no humans around or looking out windows, which I automatically scanned for even as I "ran" to him at a human pace.

"Alice called." I didn't need to ask him. Of course, she would have.

"Yes. She explained what she saw. Edward--" I expected words of chastisement. I deserved no less. But he sighed and raised a hand to my shoulder. "I'm sorry, son. Let's get my car back to the house, and then we'll go find her."

I nodded. The trip back to the house was a blur, Carlisle pushing the car to its maximum speed as I paid attention for the thoughts of any stray police. There were none, and soon the Mercedes was parked next to the house and we were headed in a straight line for Seattle at Carlisle's fastest pace. I would have gone on ahead, but he cautioned me in his thoughts that it might take both of us to rescue Bella, if we could even find her at all. I brushed off the doubts he and I were both feeling as we ran. We would find her. We had to.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Edward. You're such an idiot. Can you learn from your mistakes? What will it cost you? I guess we'll all have to wait and see.
> 
> What does everyone think of the way I meshed the storyline from the book into this? I tried for subtle. Did it work? And yes, I do like to change POVs.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't for the faint of heart. Read if you dare! (And for anyone wondering, this is where the rating comes in.)

BPOV

I stayed quiet while Victoria pulled me from the restaurant, as she instructed. She was right. There was no point in trying to get help from the humans around me. They would become collateral damage. I didn't need their deaths on my hands so soon before I faced my own.

Victoria led me along the lit street only long enough to duck into a dark alley. I stumbled after her as she darted right, went straight for a time, took a left, another left, and a right. My inability to move at her speed grated on her, however, because soon she slung me over her shoulder and began to move at vampire speed through the deepening shadows. I squeezed my eyes shut, the usual vertigo made much worse in this position. The sound of tires on asphalt and the chatter of pedestrians faded as she carried me away. I lost track of time, but it couldn't have been more than ten minutes when she pushed open a door and dropped me to a cold, damp concrete floor. My eyes flew open, but I couldn't even make out shapes in the encompassing darkness. Only the whisper of Victoria's feet on the ground nearby revealed her possible location. The drip of water was the only other sound to reach my ears. Where had she taken me?

"I appreciate that you were able to control yourself enough that we didn't have any...unfortunate accidents, pet. I've waited too long for this. The delay of having to kill a few dozen humans and make it look like a tragic accident would have put me out to no end. You wouldn't have enjoyed that."

"I doubt I'm going to enjoy anything about this." The words popped out before I could stop them, and I cringed away from the blow I was sure would come.

Victoria just laughed. "I can see why the Cullens keep you, pet. You're so amusing." Her voice hardened. "But you're not only an amusement to them, are you? The redhead, the one who killed my James, he believes you're his mate."

The way she said it made my skin crawl. I still wasn't convinced that Edward saw me that way, but somehow she was sure. The thought angered her, and I thought it was because she lost her own mate. But if he hadn't hunted me, hadn't tried to take on a family the size of the Cullens, he would still be alive. So it was James's fault. Surely she knew that.

Apparently not. "If you precious Edward and his family weren't so unnatural, he wouldn't have come up with this idea that a human could be his mate. Is he so delusional? The animal blood must eat their brains to make them so weak in the head." She laughed, a sound that should be been beautiful since it resembled the cascade of water on tile. It left me colder than her touch did, though.

A chill ran through me as I felt her finger trail along my jaw. "You're not much to look at anyway. I'm not sure what he thinks he sees in you. Still, wouldn't he be upset if his little pet was damaged?"

I knew this was coming. I knew this whole situation would end in my death, and what did it matter anyway? He was leaving. The whole family was gone. I knew it deep in my soul even if I didn't have the proof yet. Why would he care what she was doing to me? He was already planning on leaving me unprotected.

Her fingers dug into the sensitive skin of the hollow beneath my ear. I tried not to wince at the pain, aware that it would get worse no matter what I did. Still, I didn't want to give her that satisfaction. Killing me would have to suffice.

"I should part your little head from your neck right now and end this, but what would the fun be in that? I have waited months to get my hands on you. I think I'll take my time."

I wanted to shudder, but instead I kept still as her hand trailed down my neck, pressing to the point where she wouldn't break it most likely. Sudden fire shot through my collarbone when she reached it, and I recognized the sensations immediately. She broke the bone. The two legs and the arm I broke as a child came to the forefront of my memory as the pain shot through me, causing me to gasp and cry out.

"That's better. We can't have you being a stoic little thing, now can we? You know, I intended to create a helper, someone who would be loyal to me and would be willing to assist me in my revenge, but I'm so glad I won't need to. Training a newborn can be so very tedious." Her fingers squeezed the flesh of my upper right arm, and again I felt the lightning strike of a second broken bone, this time accompanied by a crack.

"How in the world does your Edward manage not to kill you, my delicious little pet? I can hardly control myself, and we've only been in this lovely little room for a few minutes. I'll have to go out and feed soon to make sure this will last as long as I want it to. It would be a pity for me to end your life too soon."

I don't know what made me say it, but words flew out of my mouth on a gasp of pain. "So, James wasn't the only one who liked to play with his food?"

She growled, and her foot connected with my left thigh. Another sickening crack and the pain became more than a flood. It was a tidal wave that threatened to consume me.

"Look at what you made me do!" she screeched. "You're lucky I didn't break skin, little pet."

"Would you kill me sooner that way?"

Her cold breath on my cheeks was my only sign when she drew her face down next to mine. "Now why would I do that?"

Then she was gone, leaving me confused at her last words. What did she mean? Was she going to cripple me and then take me back? Was she going to drag my bruised and battered body back to Forks and drain me in front of Edward, ensuring her own death as well? I had no idea what her endgame was, and that alone was more terrifying than anything else. Despite my anger, I still loved Edward. I hated the idea that he might see me like this, or worse. Then again, maybe he was already gone.

That disquieting thought echoed in my mind, and the tears finally began to fall. First one drop slid down my cheeks, and then countless more followed in a flood I couldn't control. My revelation, Edward's betrayal, Victoria's threats, all of it coalesced into a pit of blackness in my stomach that threatened to engulf me.

A cool blast of air warned of Victoria's return, but even the idea of her triumph at my current state didn't stop the tears. She stayed silent as I sobbed. At least there was no room in my mind for worry over her plans anymore. I was too lost in my own pain to care what happened to me anymore.

After what felt like hours my harsh cries quieted. My itchy, aching eyes couldn't produce any more moisture. Instead, I lay on the ground and drew in breath after ragged breath while I waited for Victoria's next move. She didn't disappoint me.

"Ah, little pet." Without warning she crouched next to me, and her hand stretched out to stroke my hair. I was too tired to flinch away. "No one loves the little pet anymore. It's so sad. I would keep you, but you'd end up becoming dinner sooner or later anyway. I have no idea how those filthy animal drinkers manage it. Humans smell so sweet."

She leaned down and ran her nose along my neck, sniffing. The deliberate movement would have made my stomach churn if the black pit of despair wasn't lodged there quite so firmly. As it was, my stillness upset her. Victoria's hand tightened on my hair and pulled my head back with it until it felt like she might actually break my neck from the pressure she exerted.

"Shall I snap your neck, pet? No, that would be too easy." She released my hair and instead grabbed one of my hands. "I know. You could use a manicure!"

The delight in her voice was a dissonant note against the sharp pains as my fingers gave way to her squeeze.

"Do you think lover boy would enjoy seeing you like this now that he no longer wants you?" she murmured, her tone revealing how much she enjoyed the thought. "Perhaps he would turn his back. That's what he's already done, right? Otherwise you wouldn't have come here alone, on a bus, with no one to protect you."

I did startle at that, which elicited a moan when the movement increased my pain a hundredfold.

"That's right. I've been watching that pathetic little town of yours, staying beyond the borders created by the animal drinkers and those annoying dogs. I was waiting for my chance to get to you." Her fingers squeezed mine even more, causing me to almost blackout from the added pain. As if from a distance I heard her continue. "They might make the dogs their pets once you're out of the picture. I'm sure they'll be so lonely. They will definitely need a new pet or three."

I had no idea what she was talking about as I began to drift in and out of consciousness. Pain blossomed in my back, my side, my face, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. In a way it felt good. Didn't I deserve this? Wasn't this my penance for deciding to hang out with vampires? That was my last thought as I pushed aside the pain long enough to drop into a restless sleep. For some strange reason, Victoria left me alone while I dozed.

I woke some time later to complete silence. Of course, that didn't mean that I was alone. I knew well enough that vampires didn't actually need to breathe. Chances were she was trying to lull me into a false sense of security. I contemplated attempting to move, but my body protested at the slightest twitch, so I knew I wasn't going anywhere any time soon. Of course, I knew I wasn't going to survive the night, a thought that brought a shudder I barely managed to suppress.

"There are so many possibilities right now, little pet." Her voice came out of the darkness, startling me enough that I jerked away from the whisper, a moan escaping at the fresh wave of agony that slight movement brought. "A little bird tells me I must be careful of my decisions, but they are so much fun to contemplate. Would you like to know my favorite?"

Decisions. Somehow, she knew about Alice. Not that it mattered. Alice must have stopped watching for me when she left. I might have done my best to evade her earlier, but if she'd been watching then she would have seen Victoria capture me earlier. With no sign of a rescue coming any time soon, I had to believe that I was completely abandoned at this point.

But Victoria had asked a question, and she wasn't going to be denied. A sharp kick to my shoulder brought me back to the present, away from pointless fantasies of deliverance from this nightmare. "I have no idea what is in your twisted mind," I muttered through teeth clenched against another groan, hoping that would be enough.

A growl ripped through the night. "I am not the twisted one. Your precious Cullens are the aberrations, playing their sick games with humans." She took an audible breath. "My absolute favorite idea is to slit that pretty skin of yours one tiny line at a time, sipping each drop of that delectable blood as it drips out. Each cut would need to be precisely one inch, I believe. I could cover you in dozens, hundreds, before the blood loss would kill you."

The dreamy tone sent a chill down my spine. I could picture what she described, but I couldn't imagine the torment that so many cuts would bring on top of the aches and burns of my other injuries. The sheer sadism of her plan, her "favorite possibility", was almost beyond my comprehension.

Her voice hardened as she continued. "Unfortunately, that one would take far too long, and if anyone is watching for possibilities it might give them enough to interfere before I'm ready. So it will most likely have to be my next favorite. I don't think it would be wise to say that one out loud." She giggled, and a door shut somewhere behind me as she left me to contemplate what her next favorite scenario for revenge might be. My best hope seemed to be that it would involve a quick death, although that became less and less likely with every passing hour.

I blacked out again only to be brought cruelly back to consciousness by the pain of cold granite arms lifting my broken body up. I knew it was Victoria when I was tossed over a shoulder and long hair covered my face. I couldn't even move my head to get away from the red curls.

"Time for some fun, little pet. Don't worry, this is the last of it. Our time together is almost at an end," she cheerfully told me.

The light in the dim alley was almost too much to bear as she made her way out of what looked to be a warehouse. That was the most I was able to see before she jumped up onto the roof and began to run. Our surroundings began to pass by in a blur that, along with the jostling, caused my poor tortured body to lose its contents in every way possible. Victoria made a disapproving little noise but otherwise didn't seem to notice. I squeezed my eyes closed and hoped for this to be over soon.

It could have been minutes or hours later that she stopped running and dropped me to the ground. "Soon," she murmured, and her cold hand cupped my cheek gently. Gently! The shock caused me to open my eyes.

"Poor little pet. They aren't worth it, you know, but we give everything to them anyway, don't we?" Her question rocked me. What does she mean? The waxing moon was bright enough to illuminate her fiery hair and crimson eyes. She killed recently. It didn't make sense, if she meant to make me her meal, too. Are vampires so gluttonous? The random thought drifted through my mind through the confusion I felt as my eyes darted around, taking in the dark branches above us.

Victoria lifted my right arm. I knew what she was studying. The crescent of James' bit glowed in the pale moonlight. It seemed to fascinate her. She brought my hand closer as if drawn to the scar. Her head blurred forward, and a familiar burn began to course down my arm. I expected to feel the pull of her drinking blood, but instead she only licked the bite. To my horror it stopped bleeding. I felt her lift my left arm, and another burn began from that wrist. When her head lowered to my neck, I thought that was it. She wanted me to suffer with venom in my system before she drained me. But her head lifted from that bite as well, and I realized what she was doing.

She was going to transform me into a vampire. What was her plan after that? The venom tore my thoughts away from her revenge as my pounding heart moved the infected blood further into my system. My ears registered sounds around me, louder than they should be in the deserted forest, but the fire consuming me roared to life and blotted out everything else for an eternity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think? Any guesses about what comes next?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, all! I hope this will settle some of your feelings to the situation I've put these characters in. I also hope it will answer some questions while leaving other things a mystery. Here's to hoping I did my job! As a note, this is the longest chapter in this story. I had a lot to say, and I didn't feel like there was any good place to break it up.

EPOV

As we ran, Carlisle's thoughts drifted between worry for me and sorrow for Bella. He believed that Victoria would complete her plans before we could find them. I couldn't allow myself to think that way. We had rescued Bella once. We would do so again. I clung to my faith as the miles dropped behind us.

Less than an hour after we left the hospital, Carlisle and I arrived at the outskirts of Seattle. The streets, bright and busy despite the deepening gloom, forced us into caution and a human pace. As we slowed, my cell phone rang. I snatched it out of my pocket and answered.

"Yes?" I demanded.

"Victoria has her. She hasn't decided where to take her, though. Apparently, there are quite a few options in the bowels of the city." Alice's voice revealed her worry. "We're headed back now. We should be there in a few hours and can help with the search then."

"Hours?" I latched onto the word. "We'll find them long before that!"

"No, Edward, you won't. Victoria will keep her alive but hidden away, and whatever she chooses will be too dark to identify. She wants to make us all suffer, but you especially. Nothing she's considering will be a quick death. She'll need somewhere isolated for that."

A growl built in my chest. Only Carlisle's hand on my arm reminded me that I must restrain myself in the presence of humans. "That is unacceptable. I will find them before it comes to that."

"I'm sorry. I wish I could say that you will, but Victoria will go to ground before you even reach the location where she took Bella." Alice sounded like she would be crying if she could.

The phone cracked in my hand, and I lowered it to stare at the pieces. Bella was in Victoria's vindictive claws, and it was my fault. I drove her away in a misguided attempt to protect her. I didn't recognize the true threat to her safety until it was too late.

Carlisle's phone buzzed with an incoming text message. We both looked at the screen.

 _Victoria is going hunting. You might find her in Capitol Hill if you can get there on time._ I hated the phrasing. _Might_. How was Victoria able to evade Alice's visions? She had demonstrated the ability before, during the panic of last spring. There was no way for her to know that my sister could see the outcomes of her decisions. Was there?

I dismissed the fragment of thought so that I could focus on winding my way through the crowd. Carlisle used the pressure of his hand on my arm to maneuver us into a narrow, deserted alley. I nodded in response to the plan he thought of, and the two of us jumped to the rooftop of the nearest building. We could move at our natural speed then as we made our way to Capitol Hill. When the gaps between buildings were too wide or a rooftop too well-lit, we dropped down into the alleys once more. Every time we were forced to do this, I ground my teeth together to hold in the growls threatening to escape. Any delay was intolerable.

I kept a mental eye on the minds around me as we ran. Large groups of minds usually created an intelligible background noise until I chose to hone in on a specific mind. Since I had no idea where Victoria would choose her victim, I worked overtime examining every mind I could reach discarding thousands every minute. I stretched to the very limit of my reach, a little more than three miles, but I found no indication of vampire activity. No fears outside of the usual human crimes of domestic violence, rape, and murder, none of which were my current concern. The safety of one precious human was, by far, more important to me at the moment, so I ignored what I couldn't change and intensified my search.

Carlisle, knowing the focus I needed for the task, kept silent until we were deep into the heart of Capitol Hill, close to the nightlife district where Victoria might find her easiest prey.

"Nothing?"

The single word jolted my concentration but did not break it. I continued scanning the masses while giving him a quick negative reply. I prowled through the area with him at my side. The possibility that Alice was wrong surfaced, but I dismissed it until the phone in Carlisle's hand vibrated again.

_She changed her mind._

The words mocked me from the small screen. We slipped away from the crowd into a dark side street.

Carlisle answered the phone before it had a chance to ring. "Actually, she keeps changing her mind. One moment she decides Capitol Hill. Then she decides to head south. Then she decides west instead. It's almost like she's doing it on purpose." Alice's frustrated voice informed us. "No matter which direction I decide to send you, she isn't there."

"Didn't you have issues following her movements before? I wondered then if she had a gift." Carlisle's calm voice infuriated me.

"What kind of gift could block Alice?" I snarled.

 _What could block the man who can hear all minds?_ Carlisle thought, his eyebrows raised. I hissed and looked away.

"Why don't we decide to meet up outside of the city once Jasper and I get there. I can follow the trail of each area we decide on and see if our meeting will have any effect on whether we can find them."

Carlisle nodded, and although I wanted to argue the delay, I couldn't. If Victoria had some ability to block Alice's gift, the best thing we could do was try to plan further out in time. It had worked before, on the few occasions where a slip up occurred at the most inopportune time to get away from a location unnoticed. I had to hope and pray to a God who most likely no longer cared about me that the same strategy would work in this case. After all, Bella's soul was still pure and good. Surely He still cared about her well-being.

First, we decided to meet Alice and Jasper to the north of the city, but she immediately vetoed that, saying that somehow that led to a future where we were all destroyed in fire by a vengeful Victoria. Next, I suggested that we meet to the east of the city, since that would bring us together the fastest. However, Alice countered that with the prediction that we would be attending Bella's funeral in several days if we followed that course of action, so of course we abandoned that plan immediately. Meeting in the southern end of Seattle had the same effect. Finally, the idea of meeting between Seattle and Forks garnered her cautious approval, although all she could say was that there were more positive possible outcomes than negative.

Carlisle and I raced to retrace our steps. All the while, I kept my mind open in hopes that I would catch a hint of Victoria's thoughts. No matter what Alice said, I thought there was still a chance since the redheaded bitch seemed to be able to bypass her gift. However, I didn't hear anything except the usual human babble as I ran.

We reached the prearranged spot. I allowed myself to freeze in place in the deep shadows of the surrounding forest while my terror and doubt threatened to consume me. I wanted to have faith that we would be able to rescue my love yet again, but with every minute that passed that faith slipped further from my grasp.

Carlisle watched me from a few feet away, his thoughts full of worry for both Bella and myself. I wanted to shout at him not to bother with me, but my panic was too strong even for that. My only hope was that Alice's promise to call Carlisle if she saw a change to the status quo of Victoria's treatment of Bella, although she wouldn't say what that was exactly. The lack of information contributed to my terror, my only consolation that I would know the full truth of the situation once Alice drew near.

My hopes were dashed once the thoughts of my brother and sister registered in my mind. Jasper focused on the task at hand, namely ways to find and defeat Victoria. Alice, on the other hand, ran through all thirty-seven plays and one hundred and fifty-four sonnets attributed to Shakespeare. She had to know that I wouldn't accept her attempts to block me, and I prepared myself to argue with her.

"Not until we're closer, brother," Alice hissed. She was still far enough away that the trees obscured my view of her, but at least I could hear her voice. In less than a minute she stood in front of me, her large eyes black with emotions I couldn't name. For once my sister looked less than put together. Her short hair hung in limp strands around her face, and her beloved clothing was ragged from small tears gained running through branches she hadn't bothered to avoid.

"So eager to see what your precious plan has wrought? Fine." She glared at me as she allowed me into her thoughts. She replayed the visions she had over the past hours.

I fell to my knees as I watched Victoria approach Bella in a diner and lead her out into a nearby alley. Bella looked terrified, but her jaw was set in determination. I knew that Victoria had most likely threatened the other humans around them to keep my love quiet, something that would have triggered her protective side. Alice's next memories were all sound only, but I could hear every crunch of Bella's bones as Victoria rained both verbal and physical abuse down on her.

"Do you see, Edward? This is all on you. It was your idea to 'protect her from our world', but how well has that worked, brother? You hadn't even left yet, and she became a pawn to be used against us," Alice hissed. Her black rage-filled eyes bore into me, driving her point home.

"We have to get her back," I croaked.

Alice shook her head, her shoulders slumping forward. Her eyes dropped from mine. "I've been trying to find a way to rescue her, but every decision I make ends in her death. It's almost like she would be better off if we stopped trying and went back to Forks to wait it out!"

As soon as the words left her mouth, she stiffened. I knew if I could see her eyes, they would be blank as the vision took her. Alice and I watched as Victoria ran through the dense forest with Bella in her arms. Victoria stared straight ahead as she ran, a deranged grin lighting her face. The moon shone through the trees as Victoria stopped at a large clearing, one we both knew.

"No."

"Shut up, Edward."

Victoria dropped Bella to the ground. She reached down towards Bella's head, but Alice's vision ended before she made contact.

"I know where she's going to take her! We have to go there!"

Another vision hit Alice. Victoria ran through the woods again, but this time she veered in a different direction, her face a mask of fury. She looked down at Bella, a sneer lifting her upper lip as she stared at my beloved. With a growl of frustration, Victoria threw Bella away from her and kept running. Meanwhile, Bella grew weaker until she gasped a final breath and was still. I saw us reach her body too late, having failed to track Victoria while she ran away and not knowing where in the woods she dropped my love.

"No! We will not go there yet, Edward! We will go to Forks, and we will wait. We will only leave for that meadow once we're sure that we can intercept them," Alice argued as her normal sight returned. She bared her teeth at me in a feral snarl. "I'm not going to let you risk my sister's life because you have to try and control everything! Look where that has gotten us so far. You never thought that Bella would have a mind of her own and figure out what you were up to before you were ready to give her your little speech, but that is exactly what happened. Your need to control everything around her in order to protect her backfired and caused this mess. Man up, admit you were wrong, and trust us to work together so that Victoria doesn't get a chance to kill her!"

As Alice spoke, her first vision returned. Victoria ran into the meadow and dropped Bella. Unfortunately, the vision ended abruptly once more, and I cursed the lack of further insight. With no way to know for sure if we would reach Bella in time, I was reluctant to agree to Alice's plan. At the same time, a small part of me knew that she was correct. The events of this day were my fault, and I owed it to Bella to give her the best chance for survival.

"Fine," I bit out. I turned without another word and began to run at my fastest speed toward home. I heard the others follow me, but I wasn't I the mood for their company. Sadly, I couldn't block out their thoughts, all of which swirled with worry for Bella and, to a lesser extent, me. I was positive Alice at least knew some of the actions I'd been considering in the event of Bella's death. I'd been careful not to decide a path so that she wouldn't feel the need to call a family meeting about it--or even just give me an Alice-brand scolding.

The trip back to Forks passed in a blink. I stopped in the backyard, unaware of how I'd reached it and unwilling to go inside and see the dust cloth-covered furniture. Alice and Jasper gathered around me, while Carlisle informed me with his thoughts that he was going to retrieve my car from town. He was back in less than thirty minutes, satisfied that few of the humans would have noticed the presence of my car for such a short period of time. After that, we all stood, frozen, as Alice reviewed Victoria's decisions over and over.

Less than an hour later, Victoria gave up on torturing Bella and gathered her up in her arms. Alice and I watched her carry my love out of a nondescript warehouse and into a dirty alley. Still unable to determine where they were, I breathed an unneeded sigh of relief once Victoria moved on to more familiar territory. I cursed out loud when I realized that we must have passed her hiding place at one point, but I waved off Carlisle's concerned thoughts instead of explaining my outburst.

Alice began a sort of untimed countdown. Every other minute, she decided that we should head toward the meadow. Thirty-five times she tried that. Each time, Victoria veered away and ran deeper into the forest where she tossed Bella's limp body and continued running. On the thirty-sixth try, Victoria kept running toward the meadow.

"Now!" Alice directed us, and I shot off once more. I knew my family would follow my trail to our destination.

I dodged around trees and over bushes as I ran, trying to go as quietly as possible. I didn't want to spook Victoria into running and potentially harming Bella more than she already had. I slowed as I reached the outskirts of the clearing. I could smell Bella's blood, and it made me anxious, but there wasn't so much that I thought she might be bleeding out. In the distance, a familiar and unwelcome stench reached my nose as well. It wasn't close, not yet, and if I could help it I would get Bella away from Victoria and our baseball clearing before I had to deal with that complication.

My father and siblings caught up to me within moments, and Jasper gestured that we should fan out. He thought that it would be better to have the whole family here, but Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie were already on their way to New York. None of us had been able to reach them, and it wasn't as if they could have turned their commercial airline around and headed back to Washington. My brother resigned himself to using the resources at hand, and that meant circling Victoria as quickly as possible. We all nodded, although Carlisle wasn't completely aware of the details of Jasper's plan. It was simple enough for him to figure out once Alice and I began to move silently through the fallen leaves. He took position on my left, while Jasper moved to Alice's right.

Once we were in a semicircle around the clearing, Jasper nodded. We surged forward, eager to reach the middle where we knew Victoria had taken Bella. The sight that met us caused us to freeze yards away from Victoria, though, who grinned at us through the blood smearing her face. Bella's blood. My frantic gaze found Bella's body on the ground, arching in agony. Blood trickled down her wrists and neck, but I couldn't see any bite marks. In horror, I realized that Victoria had used venom to seal the wounds, venom that also coursed through Bella's system with every beat of her heart. With multiple bites, it would be almost impossible to draw out all the poison without draining her completely of the life-giving fluid. The monster inside me wailed at the thought of losing the chance to taste her blood once more, but I shoved it down with even more ease than ever.

"Look who finally showed up. How do you like my little surprise? It's not nice to abandon your pets. You never know who will pick them up and take them home." Victoria's high voice grated on my nerves like nails on a chalkboard. Her insane giggle caused me to drag my eyes from Bella back to the madwoman in front of me.

"She's not a pet," I growled, moving closer.

Victoria leaned down and grabbed Bella's head while maintaining eye contact with me. "Now, now, Edward Cullen. You wouldn't want me to accidentally twist your pet's pretty little head, would you? It would be such a pity, after all. She'll make a lovely vampire."

"You don't plan on letting her live anyway," Alice announced from the other side of the meadow.

Victoria giggled again. "Hmmm, perhaps you're right, although I can see why you've all grown so fond of her. She's such an entertaining little thing." Her thoughts revealed how much she had enjoyed inflicting pain on my Bella, along with a tinge of anger that the human girl's screams weren't loud enough for her preference. Even now, she believed that Bella should be screeching with agony. However, other than her twisting body there was no indication that venom seared through her veins. "It also gives me so much pleasure to know how much she is suffering, even if she's being stubborn again."

I ground my teeth and moved one foot forward, but Victoria's grip on Bella's head tightened. "No you don't, little boy. I have lived for this moment for months. If not for the hope that I would see that look in your eyes, the pain that should have been there the second my James was pulled limb from limb and shoved into that fire, I would have let those damn wolves have me earlier." Her high voice rang with her triumph as she smiled at me, Bella's blood gleaming on her lips.

 _Speak of the devil_ , I thought as I heard heavy crashes headed toward us. The stink I noticed earlier increased as they drew near, a horrible mixture of wet dog and molding leaves. Three wolves burst into the meadow on the side closest to Carlisle, their snarls and growls adding to the tension. The black wolf in the lead intended to leap for Victoria first, since she was closest to the human lying on the ground, but my shout caused him to pause.

"No! If you go near her, she'll rip Bella's head off!" I hissed, anguish flooding through me as I once again confronted the reality of our situation.

Sam Uley's large canine head swung toward me, and I heard his thoughts as he recognized the color of my eyes. _Cullens. The Elders said they would only bring trouble to the area. Looks like they were right. Doesn't matter if she's a friend of theirs, though. That leech has red eyes, and that makes her lawful prey._

I couldn't deny the truth of his thoughts, but I had to make him understand the precarious position we were in. "Please, think for just a minute. I don't give a damn what you do to the redhead, but I can't lose Bella. Bella Swan, Charlie Swan's daughter. Let us try talking with her more."

Sam growled deep in his chest as he took in the scene with calmer eyes. He had to admit that Victoria's position wasn't ideal, but he also recognized that Bella had been bitten. He could smell the blood and venom in the air. The other two wolves communicated with him in their minds, just like their ancestors had years before, telling their Alpha that it would be better to get rid of two problems at once, whether one was the daughter of a friend of tribal Elders or not.

"No!" I shouted again, reaching out a pleading hand to them. "We'll teach her how to survive on animals like we do! Focus on her attacker, if you must, but don't endanger Bella."

Sam reared back, doubtful at the thought of allowing a transforming vampire to live. While the wolves argued amongst themselves, growling at each other, I became aware that Victoria was distracted by our interactions. She found them amusing in a macabre sort of way. I hoped it would be enough. While she stared at the wolves, I caught Jasper's eye and then looked back at Victoria, hoping he understood. He stood in the ideal position, far enough behind Victoria that she might not notice his movement until it was too late.

Jasper did take the hint. He jumped forward and onto Victoria's back, grabbing her wrists and forcing her hands away from Bella. At the same time, I ran forward and grabbed Bella, trying to be careful of her breaks but knowing she wouldn't feel the pain anyway because of the venom's burn. I cradled her against my body as I ran. When I felt we were far enough away, I turned back to see Carlisle, Alice, and Jasper pulling Victoria apart. Sam lunged forward to tear her head off with his teeth. Then, Jasper pulled out a lighter from his pocket, the one he always kept on him just in case, and lit the arm he held. He used the larger flame to set the other pieces on fire, careful not to let it get near his own skin or clothes.

With Victoria taken care of, the wolves turned their attention to me. I cut them off before they could form a coherent plan. "Please, let us amend the treaty to include Bella. She is an innocent victim in this."

Carlisle ran over to place his hand on my shoulder and turned towards the wolves. "I promise that we will ensure the safety of the people of Forks and the local tribes. We will take Bella away where she won't be a danger to those around her."

Sam stepped forward and thought, _What of her father, bloodsucker? What will you tell Charlie Swan if his daughter disappears?_ He obviously realized that their legends were true when they spoke of our gifts, and he guessed that I had read their minds earlier. I repeated his question for Carlisle, letting him take the lead. After all, the treaty had originally been his idea.

Carlisle gave a slight smile. "Actually, we will be able to make the break a gradual one if you will allow us to take her away. She will be able to email him and even call eventually, when she learns to modulate her voice to approximate a human's. If you kill her, Charlie will have to deal with the grief of her death. With our way, he will be angry with her for running away after a fight with her boyfriend who was leaving. But, since she is legally an adult, he will not be able to force her to return. We will deny knowing her whereabouts when he manages to contact us, making her seem a normal runaway instead of permanently removing her from his life. Won't that be the better option?" he attempted to reason with them.

The wolves had calmed only a little bit after Victoria's take down, and now they began arguing with each other again. Two of the wolves favored leaving us to deal with the mess "our kind" had created. The wolf called Paul thought that they should fight to be able to destroy yet another threat to humankind. Sam listened to them all and weighed Carlisle's words before giving his answer.

 _Very well. The treaty will be amended to add the daughter of Charlie Swan. But you must leave as you promised you were going to. We expected you to be long gone by now._ He was disgruntled that so many of us were still in the area.

I passed the message to Carlisle, who nodded. "We have indeed prepared to leave. Half of our family has already gone ahead. It was only when we learned that Bella ran away before Edward could tell her of our departure that we decided to remain. We wanted to help her. The police will locate her truck at the Port Angeles Greyhound station soon, as we did, and the needed seed of the story will be planted in Chief Swan's mind. We will take her away now to make her as comfortable as possible during her transition."

The wolves huffed at us and left without another thought directed towards us. At the same time, Bella twisted in my arms, already measurably stronger than she had been the last time I held her. Her eyes were closed and her jaws clamped shut against her screams. I shifted a little, knowing that nothing would make her comfortable for the next three days.

I leaned down and kissed her forehead. "We're here, Bella. I won't leave you alone," I murmured to her, giving her what little I could. Carlisle's hand on my shoulder nudged me along while his thoughts urged me to follow him to the house.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, everyone. Let's see how you like my take on this. Is Bella forgiving in this world where Edward didn't REALLY leave, but she knew he was going to? How does she react to being a newborn? Let's see!
> 
> And for those of you wishing she hadn't been turned, can you imagine trying to recover from all those injuries? Plus, well, my story, my rules.

BPOV

Once I became able to process what was happening outside of my charred body, I heard the most beautiful sound in the world. A velvet voice hummed a familiar lullaby. I reached out blindly with what must be left of my arm, and cool fingers folded around my own. The music stopped.

"Try to be still, Bella. Movement will only make it worse," a gentle voice told me, the same velvet tones as the music maker. What could be worse than burning to cinders? I opened my mouth to ask him that, but instead I heard a scream come out. Once I started, I couldn't stop.

"Shh, shh," the voice tried to soothe me. I felt something almost cool against my forehead. All too soon the fires consumed even that comfort, and I was obliged to give them my full attention. Pain exploded in every synapse, overwhelming me. Whatever was left of my body was surely completely consumed by that point, but still I burned.

There was no way to tell how long this new hell lasted. I thought it must have been years as each individual cell on my body burned past all recognition. However, after an unknown amount of time I registered a slight change at the very tips of my fingers and toes as well as at the top of my head. Cell by cell, the fire cooled, but for every inch that no longer burned, the flames intensified in the areas that remained. I heard new voices talking to me, telling me that everything would be okay, that I was doing wonderfully. Even the velvet voice tried to reassure me of that, but I thought it was a load of crap. There was no way that these sensations could in any way be described as wonderful. I shouted that at them at one point, and the voices quieted for a little while.

Once the pain left my extremities completely, I could put a name to the velvet voice. Edward. Edward, my vampire boyfriend. He was with me, and remembering him reminded me of the cause of my suffering. Vampire venom was in my system, and I was changing. I was becoming one of them.

The next time I heard the high-pitched tinkling voice, she informed Edward that "it" wouldn't be much longer. Alice. That was her name. My best friend, who had disappeared...at some point. I couldn't remember why she left, but I did know who she was and that she had visions of the future. What was she referring to? What was "it"? My change? How long was "not much longer"? Days? Hours? Minutes? Seconds? I couldn't ask her, which infuriated me until a wave of artificial calm washed over me. Jasper. I had yet to hear his voice, but I knew from the attempts to ease my fury that he was there.

With his calm, almost all my memories returned. Why the hell was he bothering? He couldn't ease the pain, so he was going to try and make me happy? Not likely. I willed his influence away, and the rage returned and tripled in strength.

The fire began to race towards my heart, leaving the rest of my body freezing by comparison. I heard my heartbeat increase, impossibly fast, and then the beats slowed. Seconds lasted between one beat and another, once, twice, three times. Then my heart stopped, which was much stranger than I ever imagined it would be.

The only sounds close to me were the even breaths taken by four individuals. I heard no heartbeats, so I knew they were Cullens, although which ones I could only guess at since I had yet to open my eyes. Further out, I heard rustling among leaves and the gurgle of water over rocks.

I realized that I was not breathing and drew in air. The sensation that hit me wasn't like smelling had been as a human. The number of individual items I could separate out should have been impossible. I couldn't even begin to identify most of them. A tantalizing combination of honey, lilacs, and sunshine called out to me, though, the individual notes twining around each other and drowning out everything else.

That scent alone persuaded me to open my eyes. I intended to look around the second my lids lifted, but glittering motes of dust caught my gaze. I stared in fascination at the microscopic dips, curves, and sharp edges of each piece of floating debris. I noted how the sides closest to the light source flared with brilliant colors. I couldn't even name them all. Shadows muted the effect on the opposite sides. It was beautiful in a hypnotic way, and I found myself lost in amazement for several long seconds.

A throat cleared, and I jumped up and back, crashing into a stone wall with a deafening crack. Shards of rock flew away from my resting place, some larger than my palm, while tiny pebbles scattered across a dirt floor. Their movement distracted me yet again, the imperfections of each shape fascinating beyond measure. I knew I had never before seen the shapes of rocks or the thousands of veins running through each with so much clarity. The minute mineral rivers on each piece mesmerized me with the way they twisted and curved.

"Bella," Edward's voice called softly. I registered the rustle of movement and footsteps, but it wasn't enough to jog me from my fascination. A long-fingered, pale hand intruded on my perusal of the rocks. I followed along the line of the arm it was attached to until my eyes landed on the dazzling face of its owner.

Edward was always beautiful to my human eyesight. As a vampire, I could see yet more details to add to the catalogue of his most attractive traits I kept in my mind. His hair shone brighter than I'd ever noticed before, strands of fiery red tangled among the darker auburn. Several shades of gold and copper combined to create the color I thought I was so familiar with. The angles of his cheeks and jaw seemed more pronounced, cleaner, even more perfect in the symmetry of his face. Even in the filtered rays of light surrounding us, his skin revealed a subtle glow.

"Edward." The name sang out, and at first, I thought that couldn't be my voice. But my lips had formed the words, and my lungs had expelled the necessary air. The syllables flowed together too easily, though, and the timber was sweet enough to make an angel cry.

Except that I remembered that I didn't want to behave sweetly toward him. I leapt at him, my hands around his throat. "You were going to leave! You were just going to leave without a backwards glance, weren't you?" I snarled, barely aware of the others who rushed to try and pull us apart.

Edward's eyes bulged as he tried to gather breath to answer me. Thick-fingered hands wrapped around my wrists, tugging, while others attempted to pry my own slender fingers away from my target. I had never felt so angry, though, not even in the burning of the change. I fed that feeling into my grip.

"Bella, if you don't let go then you're going to pop his head right off his neck!"

That shocked me enough to make me loosen my fingers enough for the others to pull them away from Edward's neck. I whirled to face Alice as Edward staggered away, brushing off the arms that tried to restrain me. She held her hands out, palms up in a calming motion.

"No one is leaving you now, sister. I promise. Just calm down. Deep breaths," she murmured, and I felt myself drawn into the calm of her words as I drew in a large lungful of air.

"Bella, why don't we take you to feed? I'm sure you're thirsty," Jasper's voice, a thousand times more musical and with a deeper lilt than I remembered, suggested. I spun around once more as the burn in my throat reasserted itself.

"I'm fine!" My hand rising to my neck betrayed me.

Jasper huffed out an exasperated laugh. "Well, since I can't get a read on your emotions I might believe you except for one thing--you're a newborn, little girl," he informed me.

I glared at him. "What does that have to do with anything? None of you go on feeding rampages or anything."

Jasper shot a glance at Edward, who shook his head. "No, of course I didn't tell her much about being a newborn. I never thought she would need to know."

This sent my anger to new heights, but at the same time I became so sad that I wanted to cry. My eyes blurred with tears of venom I would never be able to shed. I knew he didn't want to keep me forever, but hearing it like that still shook me. I did think he loved me enough to at least consider the idea once or twice.

As I stood frozen due to the maelstrom of my own emotions, Alice approached me. "C'mon, Bella. Let's get out of here and let you feed. Okay?"

Her hand slipping around mine jerked me out of my confusion. She was right. No matter how things played out now, the most important thing was getting my thirst under control. I never wanted to hurt anyone because I was hungry. I pulled myself away from the sight of Edward staring at me from across the room. Once Alice dropped my hand, I turned with her toward a set of wooden stairs.

As we climbed the stairs, I realized that we were in some sort of basement. It didn't surprise me when Alice pushed open the white door at the top to reveal the Cullens' kitchen. It was a familiar room, although I had never paid much attention to this door in the corner before.

"We thought that it would be easiest for you to change here. Since there's soundproofing in the floor over the old cellar that seemed like the best place to put you. We've had a few humans over since that night, especially your father. As far as he knows, Carlisle was the only one left here when you disappeared," Alice informed me.

"Why?" I tried to fit all my questions into that one word. Why was Carlisle supposed to be the only one here? Where did they think everyone else had gone? Why were they leaving in the first place? Why weren't they going to take me with them? Why was Edward going to hurt us all with this plan? I knew the original plan was his, the same way that I had realized what he was up to in the first place.

"He was scared," she told me as she led me outside. I noticed that she positioned herself to open all the doors, which made sense considering the mess I had made of the cellar wall earlier. "When Jasper attacked, he thought he was going to lose you. That tore him up inside. He decided we were all too dangerous for you to associate with anymore."

We stepped into the back yard. I was so focused that I barely noticed how quickly we crossed to the stream on the other side.

"And you let him make that choice for you?"

"We argued with him for three days. But you're--he claimed it would be best for you, and he was so upset that we let him convince us it was true." She shook her head and then looked forward. "We need to jump now."

I eyed the stream, which was more like a small river located several yards down a steep bank. "Really?"

She let out a small laugh, the first I'd heard from her since I woke from the change. "Yes, silly Bella. Jump!" She sprung up into the air and was across in an instant. Not letting myself think too hard about it, I did the same. In my new body, the movement was effortless and intoxicating.

Once we reached the other side, I began my questioning once again. I knew Edward could still hear me, but I didn't care. "So, what was the story? What were you going to tell everyone? What were you going to tell me?"

Alice frowned. "Carlisle put in his notice at the hospital. He gave Esme's desire to move to a larger town as an excuse. Esme left with Rose and Emmett to get the next place ready, although the whole town thought that she went with me. I was with Jasper in the north, trying to calm him down after...the incident. Edward assured us that he would take care of letting you know what was going on." She paused. "I saw what he was going to say, and then I saw that it wasn't going to work. I tried to tell him that you would end up trying to follow us, but he made up his mind to be firmer in leaving. It wasn't going to be pretty. I saw, although he tried to hide it from me."

She shook her head. "But, of course, you did the unexpected. You figured out that we were leaving without you, and somehow you blocked me from seeing your next moves until it was too late. I couldn't see anything until you were eating somewhere--I'm guessing in Seattle? How did you do that, anyway?"

I shrugged and started walking in a random direction. She grabbed my elbow and turned me sixty-three degrees to the right, and we headed that way. "I didn't make decisions. Everything I did after I realized that you were all leaving and not taking me with you was spur of the moment. The first decision I really made was to get on a bus for Seattle, but I thought maybe you weren't watching me by then anyway."

"I will always regret that I allowed Edward to talk me into taking my eye off you. Not that I don't want you with us forever," she hastened to explain, "but no one should go through a forced change, especially not because of us. And we may not have bitten you, but it was our fault. In trying to protect you from us, we forgot about the other monsters out there."

She sounded so bitter that the hard kernel of resentment I was harboring toward all of them began to soften, at least in her case. But I had nothing else to say to that, so I stayed quiet as we made our way through the trees. Instead, I concentrated on adjusting to the way that my new sight fed the thousands of myriad details around me to my expanded brain. Each moment, processing the wealth of visual stimuli around me became easier. I still didn't dare touch anything yet, though.

Alice stopped me with a hand on my arm. "Do you smell that?"

I took a deep breath, trying to differentiate the scents around me. There was something out there, a coppery smell I knew all too well, but enhanced a hundred times. At least it didn't cause me to faint or anything ridiculous like that. It did seem vaguely appetizing but not tempting. "I think so."

She nodded. "Good. We're going to get closer. At first your body won't respond right away to the scent of an animal's blood, so you'll have to force yourself to go after them. That will change with time."

I followed her lead yet again, slipping through the bushes without a sound. She pointed, and I saw a small herd of deer through the leaves a hundred yards away. _Go_ , she mouthed to me.

I gathered myself and sprung forward, racing through the trees at top speed yet avoiding them all as I zeroed in on my targets. I selected the largest one and grabbed it, letting instinct take over as I brought it to my mouth. My teeth sliced through the hide and muscle at its neck, and the liquid that poured down my throat almost quenched the smoldering fire there. I sucked, pulling out as much of the precious blood as I could manage while the creature's heart weakened and gave out under my hands.

Once there was no more blood to draw out, I pulled back and looked down in horror at the mangled body I held. The dark glazed eyes stared up at me in accusation. I began to glare back. This was the only choice. A human would be so much worse. I couldn't let my compassion get the best of me.

"Very good, Bella. We need to bury it now. A shallow hole will allow scavengers to make use of the corpse, but it will hide most of our hunting from prying human eyes," Alice instructed me. I turned to stare at her.

"My throat still burns," I whispered, still shaken by what I had done.

She gave me a small smile. "I'm sure it does. Let's bury this one and go find you another, okay?"

I nodded and watched for a few seconds as she dug into the earth with her fingers. I copied her movements, and within minutes we had the deer buried. She covered the disturbed earth with forest debris as best she could, and then she led me off again.

I took down another deer less than ten minutes later, and we repeated the process. It was only at that point that I noticed how filthy I had become. I hesitated to mention it to Alice, not wanting to encourage her, but I hated the idea of returning in bloody clothes. I started to say something, then stopped. That was enough, though.

Alice perked up. "I'll text Jasper to bring some of your clothes to the forest edge so that you can change. It's so much easier to see you now that you're a vampire," she confided in me as she pulled out her cell phone and began typing while she walked. I heaved a sigh and followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, now that you've read it, I'd like to say that I did my best to keep Bella in-character while having her go through this particular set of circumstances. She's pissed, but she also has an almost fatal ability to forgive. That forgiveness may come too quickly for some of you, or you may think she's not being fair. Let me know either way!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're winding down the story a bit, although it's not over. I have a few more things for you. Now what I hope you've all been waiting for, the Bella and Edward confrontation.

EPOV

I sat backward on the piano bench, elbows on my knees, and pretended not to stare out the window at the trees beyond. As I waited, I calculated the time it would most likely take for Alice and Bella to get into a section of forest where they would be able to hunt. With a newborn, making sure that no humans were around was doubly important.

"She'll probably forgive you eventually."

I turned my head to look at Jasper. "I screwed up."

He nodded. "Yes, you did. And she's a raging newborn, although not as bad as I expected. So it'll take time and a lot of work. But the best relationships have their ups and downs. But the thing that matters is how you bounce back from it. Both of you."

I looked down at my clasped hands. "I thought I was doing the right thing."

"Yeah, but that's where you messed up. You didn't take what she thought into consideration at all. And she's going to call you out on it, guaranteed. My new little sister isn't going to be a pushover."

"What do you mean?"

"She attacked you within moments of waking, and with a rational reason behind it. Yeah, she was mad as hell, but I think it was the right sort of mad. Like the other women in this family, she's stubborn, strong, and fiercely independent in her way."

"You could tell so much in those few short minutes? That doesn't sound much like the Bella I know." Did that mean that she wasn't the same young woman anymore? Had I lost my love to the demon inside her.

Jasper laughed at me. "You always put her on such a pedestal, brother, but even as a human your little kitten was made of sterner stuff than you wanted to admit. I saw that when we were in Arizona. Plus, she found out about us and didn't freak out. She accepted us. I can't think of many humans who would do the same."

"Bella's first hunt shouldn't take much longer," Carlisle commented as he entered the great room from the hallway. I knew the comment was more for my benefit than Jasper's.

As if he now possessed Alice's ability, Jasper's phone dinged with an incoming text. I followed his thoughts as he read it.

_Bella needs fresh clothes. She's embarrassed by how messy she got._

Jasper and I jumped up at the same time, but his glare and pointed look at the piano bench made me rethink my actions. Bella wasn't likely to welcome my scent on her clothing yet. I forced myself to wait while my brother ran upstairs to the room I once called my own, where Alice had laid aside some clothes for Bella. He gathered the necessary items into a neat bundle, and then raced outside to deliver as requested. He returned in seconds, and we were left waiting yet again.

Within minutes, we heard light footsteps running through the fallen leaves and underbrush. They stopped where Jasper must have left Bella's clothes, about fifty feet into the tree line. Alice kept her thoughts hidden behind a mask of obnoxious bubbly pop songs from the early 1990s, although I would have tried to keep from glimpsing Bella's naked form in her mind anyway. I might not have succeeded, but I would have tried.

Bella and Alice finally walked through the trees, a bloody bundle of cloth in Alice's hands. They went up to the back of the house and came in through the laundry room, purpose built so that we could attempt to remove bloodstains as soon as possible after a hunt. They didn't speak, which drove me mad since Alice maintained her shield the entire time. Then Alice led Bella through the kitchen and into the great room.

Before I could lose my nerve, I rose and stepped up to my sister and my love with some trepidation, ignoring the former while waiting the agonizing seconds for the latter to acknowledge me. She shifted her ruby red eyes slightly. To my disappointment, she didn't let me catch her gaze with my own, but I didn't let that deter me.

"Bella, may I please have a word with you in private? I would like to explain myself." I had no reason to believe that she would indulge me, but the insistent kernel of hope I harbored shrank when she hesitated.

"Why don't you go into the backyard for your talk? The rest of the family will be here soon, and you might not get another chance for a while." Alice ran through a recitation of the articles in the last thirty issues of Vogue in backwards chronological order to block her thoughts, and any visions she might be experiencing, from me. I didn't care. I was grateful for her support, grudging as it might be.

Bella's shoulders slumped a bit, the first sign of her lost humanity to appear since her change. She allowed me to lead her back outside without a word, although she refused the hand I offered. Instead, she stayed a few steps behind me. As we left, I heard Jasper's thoughts warning me to be careful. _She's remarkably calm for a newborn, but she's still hours old to this life._ I gave a slight nod but didn't slow down.

Neither Bella nor I said a word until we were deep into the trees behind the house. At that point she stopped, and I followed suit. It was time. I turned.

"Bella, I--"

She cut me off, something I couldn't remember her doing before. Another first.

"So, what excuse were you going to use to ditch me?" Venom dripped from each syllable.

I pinched my nose, unwilling to meet the eyes glaring up at me. "It wasn't like that! I was trying to protect you!"

"Oh? You sure did a good job of it!" Her voice rose as she lunged toward me. To my amazement she pulled herself up short and spun around so that I couldn't see her face now that I wanted to. "I realized what you were doing that afternoon. It made me sick to my stomach to think that you were going to go through with your stupid, self-righteous plan to remove yourself from my life 'for my own good,' all without asking me what I wanted. You weren't going to give me a damn choice, so I returned the favor. I took my life into my own hands. Mrs. Newton sent me home because she thought I was sick. Instead, I went to the bank and took out some cash. Then I drove to Port Angeles without making a single decisionâ€”very much on purpose, I promise you. And then, when I did decide to get on the bus to Portland, I left that bus in Seattle without making the decision to do it. I just let myself stand up and move."

She snorted. "You know, the most ironic part of this whole mess is that I was using the exact methods that my killer used to keep you from knowing she was still around."

She pivoted on one foot, a graceful move that held me mesmerized. She pushed a finger into the center of my chest. "And you were just going to leave me unprotected. How long do you think I would have lasted, Edward? A day? A week? Maybe a month? Who knows, she might have drawn it out by killing my friends and my dad first before finally granting me the mercy of death once I was utterly alone here."

Each of her words sliced into me the way no knife ever could. I wasn't sure what was worse, hearing about her deliberate evasion of our separation or the possible scenarios for her demise that she painted. I had no need to read her mind to picture her friends and father around her, throats ripped out while Victoria toyed with her before killing her. I dropped to my knees, hands in my hair, a soundless scream on my lips.

We remained frozen there for several long minutes before I heard her sigh and felt her kneel on the ground in front of me. She grabbed my wrists and pulled my hands down. I found the courage to meet her eyes, and we sat there staring at each other for yet more minutes, perhaps hours. For once, I remained unaware of the exact passage of time.

"What am I going to do with you?" Her whisper fanned the remaining ember of my hope.

"I am so incredibly sorry, my love. I allowed my panic to blind me," I offered what poor apology I could manage.

"And I allowed my hurt and rage to lead me to my death. What a sorry pair we are." Her red eyes were so sad. How well I could still read them. Color made no difference.

"What do we do now?" I had no plan to offer. I could see no way out of the mess my mistakes created of our lives.

She stood, pulling me up with her. "We take it one day at a time, and we learn how to deal with each other as equals. Do we have any other choice?"

I rejoiced to hear those words. "I do love you, Bella. I will love you until the end of time."

She nodded. "And I love you, but we're going to take things slow until I can get to the point where I don't want to rip your head off every few minutes." She shot me an arch look. "Maybe you should keep your mouth shut for the next decade. It might be safer for you."

Seeing the fire reignite in her eyes, I couldn't help but agree. That didn't stop me from offering her my arm and going against her advice, though. "Shall we return to the house?"

She gave me a stiff nod, ignored my arm, and headed toward the house by herself. I stifled a curse and followed. The walk back was quiet. Neither of us wanted to disturb our fragile truce.

When we returned, two familiar vehicles sat in the drive. I identified the minds of my mother, brother, and other sister. Esme's thoughts echoed Emmett's, excitement mixed with regret for the circumstances of Bella's change and our own part in it. Rosalie, on the other hand, shouted her furious thoughts at full volume. She blamed our predicament solely on me and my insistence in involving myself with a human. However, a tendril of relief at the ending of a stalemate, as she saw it, wound through her inner monologue. I wanted to be angry with her for that, but the truth was that I felt the same.

"The others have arrived."

Bella glanced at me and rolled her eyes. "Yes, I can see that. Rule number one: Bella is an intelligent adult who doesn't need the world explained to her. Memorize that. It's your new mantra."

I pressed my lips together and opened the door, gesturing for her to proceed me.

"Little sister's got some bite in her." Emmett's laughter echoed through the house as we went inside. I ground my teeth together and held in the comment I wanted to make.

To my surprise, Bella tried to hang back when we entered the great room once more. She glowered at the floor in an obvious attempt not to look at the six members of the family now gathered around. Esme rushed to hug her, but her acceptance of the gesture was lukewarm at best. My mother did her best to hide her reaction as she stepped back.

"It's so good to see you looking...well." Esme's verbal stumble brought a moment of silence to the rest of us.

"I'd like to be alone for a while," Bella whispered, turning away. Before she could go, I grabbed her arm, causing her to freeze in place.

At the same moment, Carlisle and Jasper moved forward, one to rebuke her for her rudeness to Esme and one to deny her freedom of movement. Before either could open his mouth, Alice acted on a flash of vision I couldn't quite make out. She danced over to Bella's side and removed my hand from her arm in one fluid motion.

"I wish we could leave you alone for a while, but newborns are so unpredictable, especially under stress. Why don't we go up to my room for a while, just the two of us?"

Bella bristled at my sister's words. "Why the hell does everyone keep looking at me like I'm going to freak out?" she growled. Her eyes pierced us all as they traveled the room, noting that we had all

Alice gave her a look. "You almost ripped Edward's head off when you woke up."

"It took me and Carlisle to pry you off," Jasper contributed, outwardly calm. His thoughts indicated how difficult he found it to hold in his laughter.

"Really? Why do I always miss all the fun?" Rose smacked Emmett's arm for that one.

Bella looked back and forth between them all, storm clouds gathering in her eyes. I knew she was about to burst, but I'm not sure even Alice could have predicted the words that spewed forth.

"Why don't you all just leave? That's what you meant to do anyway!" Six sets of wide gold eyes turned to her, but she was on a roll. "You, Jasper, you bailed on me without a goodbye or an apology. Alice, you followed him without a backward glance. The rest of you disappeared without a word to me, too. And of course, there's Edward, who was all too willing to sacrifice our love for my own fucking good." She screamed and turned to the side, her fist finding the nearby wall and reducing a section of it to rubble. "I may have forced myself into your world, but you abandoned me to it!" She punctuated every word with a punch while we watched, leaving large holes in the plaster and wood. "And what fucking good has it done any of us?"

She whirled around and stared at us, eyes wild with rage. None of us found a voice at first, but to my surprise the only one who could think of anything to say was the one I least expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Too much? Not enough? I wanted her to be a calmer newborn but still have more of the rage than we saw before, since the betrayal by Edward and the Cullens happened so close to her transformation. Vampires don't change easily, so she's going to have to work on trust with all of them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We're getting closer to the end. I hope you all enjoy this one.

BPOV

"You're right." Rosalie's words startled me out of my rage.

My eyes flew to hers. "What?"

She met my gaze with a calm I rarely saw from her. "You're right. You forced your way into our world, but we didn't protect you from it the way we should have. I thought Edward's idea was for the best and encouraged him. I believed you would get over him in time, live a human life, and our family would remain safe. I didn't consider other threats to you caused by our involvement in your life, willing or not. I'm sorry."

She stepped forward, hand outstretched. I stared at her beautiful features, trying to find some hint of insincerity. I found none. I brushed her fingers with mine, unsure if I should do more, but her grip tightened. She smiled down at me, a true smile for once, and she shook my hand with purpose.

Our hands dropped, and I looked away. The next person I saw was Esme. I cringed, shame at the damage I created seeping in. "I'm sorry about the wall. I didn't mean--"

"No more. It's just a wall. You'll help fix it, as any of us do when we let our emotions get the better of our strength." She offered me a slight smile tinged with regret. "I apologize as well, sweetheart. I should have stayed to say goodbye, but I've never been good at those when it comes to my children."

She opened her arms again, and this time I fell into them. How could I remain angry with her, knowing what I did of her past and her lost child? I couldn't judge her for her weakness when my own inability to face Edward's plan was the catalyst for my capture and torture by Victoria, as well as my eventual death at her hands. Her arms folded around me, my anger drained away, and the despair and grief I held back flooded in. I cried without tears into her shoulder, my eyes stinging with venom.

"You left! You left me!" I choked on the words, tried to hold them back, but it was useless.

"I know. Never again, Bella. I promise." She held me close, and I drank in the reassurance of the only mother I could be close to anymore.

Two sets of small hands ran up and down my arms and back, offering what little comfort they could until my sobs finally quieted. Alice and Rosalie moved back as I pulled away from Esme, gently this time, and I tried to express my gratitude without words. For the first time, I felt like my mother and sisters stood beside me. Our inequality and personality conflicts from my human time with them fell away.

The men stood on the other side of the room, even Edward, looking unsure of how to handle the situation. The sight of them provoked an unexpected reaction from me. I giggled. The other women followed my gaze and began to laugh, too. I felt the remaining tension dissipate with our amusement.

"Scared of a few tears, boys?" Rosalie mocked them.

Emmett puffed his chest out. "Of course not. Do I get a hug next, Little Sis? Now that you aren't so breakable anymore?" His eyes twinkled at me, although he restrained the grin I was so used to seeing.

I nodded, and the next thing I knew he lifted me up and spun me around. I rolled my eyes and laughed again, squeezing him back. He put me down next to Jasper.

I looked up at the tall blond man who would be my brother from now on. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that earlier."

He shook his head. "No, you're right. I didn't stay to apologize. At the time, I was afraid I would kill you if I didn't put distance between us."

"You didn't come back, not even once Carlisle stitched me up."

"No." He looked down at his feet, his mouth pinched against any other words.

"I never blamed you. You couldn't exactly help feeling the hunger of all the others on top of your own. It doesn't surprise me one bit that you're the one with the most 'accidents.' Actually, I'm amazed you manage to stick to the animal diet around other vampires at all, especially now that I am one," I told him. As he stared at me, I offered a hand. "You're probably the strongest vampire I know. Will you help me learn to resist? Even when I fed on those deer, I knew in the back of my mind that there was something more appealing out there. I want to be able to resist it."

He took my hand, looking dazed. "I would be honored. No one has ever pointed that out before, you know." His eyes sharpened. "But you know, you're one of the strangest newborns I've ever encountered. Your control over your emotions amazes me in turn, even if I can't feel it. I can see the results."

I frowned, unsure of what he meant. My eyes moved to the wall I had partially demolished minutes earlier. He laughed, and I looked back at him.

"Trust me, I've seen much, much worse." With that, he squeezed my hand, let go, and moved to stand with Alice.

As Edward came up beside me, I looked at Carlisle. "What's next?"

He sighed. "As expected, the Port Angeles police found your truck at the Greyhound station. You are a presumed runaway at this point, especially because Alice was able to persuade the lost and found at the Seattle police station near the diner where you were taken that you were her sister. They gave her your backpack and wallet."

He cleared his throat. "Edward and I have spoken with your father twice, both times over the phone. He believes that you and Edward had an argument about our move at school which caused you to run rather than face it, and he thinks that Edward wasn't willing to tell him about the fight when he saw him that night. Unfortunately, your 'stunt' this past spring has exacerbated his belief that you may yet return or contact your mother once you calm down. Eventually, we would like you to email him. What you say will be up to you, although you can't tell him the truth. We can help you come up with a plausible story, if you like."

He looked at Edward and then back at me. "Meanwhile, the wisest course for all of us is to alter our plans and head to Alaska. Our Denali cousins will be there to help keep humans away, and the ratio of human to animal life is optimal for the situation. There will be far less temptation for you if we stay away from populated areas."

"But how will you continue working as a doctor if you're not near a town? And what about the rest of you? Are you going to sit around and do nothing?"

Alice laughed. "No, silly Bella! We do take breaks from playing human sometimes, and this is the perfect reason to do so. A year of catching up on our interests and hobbies sounds refreshing. Even Carlisle will find something to do, probably pouring over medical research or taking trips to conferences. We won't be bored."

I felt dazed. "All right, then. And I'll be able to contact my parents again?"

"For a little while." Carlisle held up a cautioning hand. "Eventually, you will need to cut off contact completely. Whether you do so by faking your death or simply ceasing contact will be up to you. Don't make any decisions now, though. Take some time to think about it."

I nodded and tried to swallow around the lump in my throat. I would never see my parents again, never be able to do more than follow their lives from a distance. Suddenly, too late, some of the arguments Edward once made in favor of me staying human began to make sense. Too late, I felt the grief of losing my parents wash over me.

Jasper must have sensed the overwhelming sadness invading my thoughts. He offered the perfect distraction. "Before we leave, we'd better teach you how to open doors without breaking them."

I looked around at them all. Despite the situation, every single one of them seemed to wear the same smug little smile. "Have I been that obvious?"

"Except when you're taking out holes in the walls, love, you haven't touched anything except one of us since you woke." Edward's smile was kinder, although his tone made me narrow my eyes at him.

"And you made me dress you like a doll earlier," Alice piped up.

"You like dressing me like a doll. It's practically a sport to you," I retorted. She rolled her eyes.

Twenty minutes later, I concentrated on the exact amount of pressure needed to close my hand around the doorknob, turn it, and push it away from me. I remembered Jasper's instructions and went slow, a fraction of a millimeter at a time, until my skin grazed the metal. I paused, added more pressure, paused, added more. Finally, my hand fit around the doorknob in a fair approximation of the way I thought it should. I began the agonizing process of turning it at a snail's pace so that I could stop at the exact moment when I heard the click of the mechanism. I pushed, an inch at a time, until the door opened to reveal most of the Cullens on the other side. They smiled at me.

"See, that wasn't so hard! Now that you can do that, it's just a matter of taking your time with whatever you interact with until you have a good grasp of how your new body works. Easy," Jasper told me.

Somehow, I doubted that, but Edward's hand on the small of my back distracted me. I looked over my shoulder and up into his eyes. "It will be. I promise."

I wanted to bite off a remark about his promises not holding much weight these days, but I restrained myself. Instead, I smiled, nodded, and let go of the doorknob before stepping outside to join the rest of the family.

To my surprise, a pile of luggage sat on the lawn nearby. I counted six bags. That wasn't enough for all of us, or even just Edward and the other Cullens. I didn't expect any of them to be for me.

To my surprise, Alice reached down and pulled two purple suitcases out of the stack, their shiny plastic sides proclaiming that they were much newer than the others now that I looked closely. She wheeled them over to me and stopped. Then she bit her lip and gave me a small smile.

"I couldn't save much from your room, but I figured if Charlie thought you planned to leave then he would think you took anything missing with you. Some of this is you already owned, and the rest I bought during your transition. I kept the clothes that will be good for Alaska, although you won't need to fool humans for a long while. And once you have control over your strength, I'll let you touch the books in the second one. But not before!"

"Wow. You saved a whole suitcase just for my books?" I didn't believe it.

"Well..." She shrugged. "So maybe it isn't the whole suitcase. But I got most of your favorites, I think. I went by the ones you talked about as well as the ones that looked particularly loved."

The way she went out of her way to think about what I would want brought back the sobs, and I threw my arms around her. The squeak she let out and Jasper's cleared throat reminded me to watch my strength, but she hugged me back as hard as she could. It felt wonderful to finally do that.

Once we separated, Edward's hand found my waist once more. He guided me to the Volvo waiting nearby. "Once you're in, I'll load the trunk. One of the bags is mine. The others can get their own, but I don't quite trust you with your lovely new luggage or my car yet, love," he teased me, the first joke he'd made since my birthday.

I raised my eyebrows and pretended to be haughty for a moment, and then I sighed and acquiesced. "You're right. No need to dent anything yet. I'll have plenty of time to practice."

Alice slid into the car behind me while Jasper and Edward loaded the trunk. She reached forward and squeezed my shoulder. "I'll be keeping an eye on the road as we go. When I tell you to, hold your breath and close your eyes. If you don't smell or see any humans, we should be able to make the trip just fine. I don't see any problems."

I nodded, but a sudden thought made me gasp. "Oh, Alice, I forgot all about the wall!"

Esme, of course, could still hear us. "Don't worry, dear. We'll fix it in a year or so when we come back. We've shut the house up tight enough that a few holes shouldn't hurt in that short amount of time."

"We'll come back in a year?"

"Yes, once you're able to be around humans. Obviously, you won't be able to let anyone here see you, but it won't hurt to let you see your father one last time," Edward promised me as he slid into the car. After he started the ignition, he held out his hand palm up. When I took it, he wrapped his fingers around mine and squeezed, then he let go so that he could shift gears.

"Ready?"

I looked out the car window at the large white house beside us. Was I? "Of course."

I kept the house in sight until we turned a curve in the driveway, the other cars stretched in a line behind us. In the silence of my own mind, I promised to return one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, what do you think of Rosalie's about face? I know she's supposed to be a bitch, but at the same time, I feel like that shouldn't be ALL that she's about. She's fairly protective of family, and she tends to be honest with her feelings. I think she would be the first to admit out loud that what they did was shitty when this was the result.
> 
> Just another two chapters and then the epilogue. I hope you enjoy them!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We're getting closer to the end. Hopefully this chapter will make you feel a little more sympathetic towards Edward. Remember, I had to work with what Stephanie gave me. Also, a few of you mentioned that you thought Bella was letting Edward get a bit too handsy in the last chapter. At least one of those instances was Edward giving Bella an option, though, when he let her choose whether to take his hand or not in the car. Expect more little gestures like that, since Edward has figured out that maybe it isn't the grandiose gestures that are going to win her over. He's going to need to show her he can change in the little ways, too.

EPOV

Denali rose high in the air to our left, a testament that our trip was almost over. Beside me, Bella sat unmoving as stone. I suspected she was worried about many things, not the least of which was how many times we stopped along the way for her to feed.

When my brother informed her that newborns typically feed three or four times a week, and I chimed in with memories of how vegetarian newborns sometimes needed blood more often that than, I thought she might try to claw her way out of the car. Alice's hand on her arm stopped her panicked response, although Rosalie wouldn't be pleased with the five ten-inch dents in the car door's interior molding. At least Bella didn't break a window.

She hadn't been aware that she would need to hunt more often than the rest of us until Jasper used the beginning hours of our trip to educate her on everything he knew about newborn habits, traits, and abilities. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as her eyes widened with each new revelation. She fidgeted in her chair whenever Jasper mentioned a way that she flouted one of the basics. Then, whenever we paused for a quick "feed the newborn" hunting trip, all of us gathered around her, we almost had to pull her out of the car. Her reluctance caused Jasper no end of frustration and concern himself, although once she began to run she showed a normal amount of enthusiasm which soothed him--and me--a little. In all, we managed to get Bella to hunt once a day on the three-day trip, the last time just hours ago.

"It's going to be fine," I tried to reassure her.

"Of course it is." Out loud, Alice's words sounded much more confident than her mind felt. "Our cousins are going to love you as much as we do."

Bella didn't respond, so we lapsed into silence once more. The strains of soothing jazz filled the car, my attempt to sway her mood with music. Not for the first time, I wished I could read her mind. Since her change I wanted that more than ever. Even when she wasn't imitating a statue, she was so quiet during the drive that I would have forgotten she was there except for the electric hum of my arm next to hers on the center console.

Within an hour we pulled off the main highway and on to a narrow road that counted more as a track. Bella began to breathe again, slow and even. I hoped that was a good sign. A glance at her face revealed that she still held her emotions in, whatever they might be.

The full Denali clan was out in force to greet us, including the newest member we sent earlier in the year, Laurent. I heard their thoughts before I saw them, almost all eager to meet the new member of our family and see the others once again. Laurent alone was apprehensive, although I could tell they had taught him something about my gift because he kept up a wall of "white noise" thoughts, inconsequential observations of the landscape around him. It was crude but effective.

Six vampires stood in the snow in front of their timber and stone two-story cabin as we pulled up, the first in the line of cars. For once, I didn't have to try and beat Bella to open her car door for her. She remained still as I stepped out of the car, moved around to her side, and opened the door.

"Come meet our cousins, Bella," I urged, holding out a hand. "Please?"

As if she heard me for the first time, although I knew her hearing was as good as any of ours, she raised her eyes to mine, her face startled. The way she bit her lip revealed that her surprise was true, causing me to wonder how deeply into her thoughts she had buried herself without me realized. After another moment of hesitation, she accepted my hand and stood. I pulled her to my side as I shut her door, Alice and Jasper barely a second behind us as we moved forward. The rest of our family joined us moments later as they parked and got out of their own cars.

"Carlisle!" Eleazar called, a wide smile on his face. "Welcome!"

My father moved forward ahead of me, eager to see his friend. "Thank you for your hospitality."

"Think nothing of it," Tanya pushed into the conversation, her wide eyes and curious thoughts trained on Bella and me, especially our still-joined hands. "We're always glad to see you, all of you. And this must be your new daughter."

Bella jumped and hissed. We all froze except Carlisle, who ghosted to her side in an instant.

"I'm not going to try to replace him, Bella. Please believe me." Behind the calm and sincere words, I heard the hurt in his thoughts. He did see Bella as a daughter, and he felt that our preempted plans to leave her had damaged the eventual parental relationship he hoped to have with her. Another burden to lay at my door.

Bella shook her head and offered him the tiniest of smiles. "I know you won't, Carlisle. I'm sorry. I can't seem to get the hang of these mood swings."

To my surprise, Rosalie gave a little chuckle and moved to us, wrapping her arm around Bella's shoulders. "Don't worry, there's no way you can destroy as much as Emmett did with his newborn fits," she whispered, her thoughts revealing how much she wanted to put Bella at ease with our cousins watching.

Bella forced out a laugh. "Oh, I can imagine."

"Hey! Most of the house remained standing. Sort of," Emmett grumbled, doing his part to lighten the mood. "I may or may not have been the reason for Esme making her 'you break it, you fix it' rule."

"Well!" Tanya strode forward, her hand outstretched. "I am Tanya, and these are my sisters, Kate and Irina, and our brother and sister Eleazar and Carmen. You may remember Laurent." Her voice was friendly, but in order to shake her hand, Bella had to drop mine. Tanya's mind revealed that was exactly her plan, but I solved that by placing my hand on the small of Bella's back, both as support to her and to avoid Tanya's next gambit.

After the handshake and the nod to the others, Bella turned to look at us. It was obvious she was at a loss, but Rose stepped in once again, her arm still twined with Bella's.

"Why don't we get you settled inside. Edward, be a dear and get Bella's bags when you get your own." It wasn't a request, but underneath it I heard, _That way she won't accidentally break anything in front of the cousins. It would embarrass her._

Stunned by my sister's compassion, a rare enough display for her, I obeyed without comment. Tanya instantly swooped in to help, although Jasper bailed me out of that situation and assured her that we were fine with our loads. Meanwhile, Rose pulled Bella forward, smiling at the Denalis the whole way. Carmen rushed to open the front door for them, suspecting that Bella's control of her strength wasn't definite enough to guarantee the survival of the specially-cut piece of wood.

Rose led Bella up to what was normally my room when we visited, something I appreciated. Of course, nothing inappropriate would happen until Bella was ready to allow me back into her life, but I treasured the idea of being able to share space with her in an intimate way. I didn't want to make my enjoyment obvious, though, or give Bella any wrong impressions about my intentions, so after I put down the luggage I stated my intention of going for a quick hunt.

Bella's hand flew to her throat, but she didn't seem hungry. Instead, her eyes darkened with what I hoped was concern. "Oh. None of you ate when I did. I only just realized."

I smiled and tried for casual as I hooked my fingers into my jeans pockets. "No worries. Alice and Jasper hunted while you were transforming. Carlisle and I are probably the hungriest, so I'll see if he wants to make a trip out of it."

She nodded and turned to look out the window next to her. I paused for a moment and drank in the sight of her beauty. Every flaw, what few there were, had been removed from her face and form, and now her hair waved in natural curls in a way I never expected. I had to pull myself away before she caught me staring.

Carlisle, having heard my comment about hunting, was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs.

_Shall we?_

I nodded and preceded him down a hall and out the back door, the chatter of our reuniting family members echoing in my ears and mind. It would be good to get away from it all with just his familiar presence for a while. We ran into the forest, my pace slower than normal so that he could keep up.

We found what we were looking for within ten minutes, a herd of caribou. We pounced in tandem but far enough away from each other to avoid territorial instincts kicking in. As the blood cooled my throat, I felt some of my anxiety dissipate, but not all.

After I finished and cleaned up after myself, I found a large fallen log to lean against while I waited for my father. He didn't take much longer than me, and it didn't surprise me at all when he chose to recline against the same log instead of suggesting that we go back. His thoughts said that he suspected the reason for this hunt, other than to slake our thirst, but he was going to let me begin when I felt ready.

"I'm sorry for what I've put the family through, Father." I tried to imbue the apology with every ounce of sincerity I felt. "I was so confused as to what was the right thing to do, and I wasn't willing to listen to any of you."

He nodded. _I know, son. I forgive you. I will always forgive you. The others may take some time, but they will come around because that's what family does. But I have a feeling it's not our forgiveness that has you tied up in knots._

I hung my head. "I should have talked about my fears with Bella instead of deciding on a course of action on my own. She's made me realize that. At the same time, every single instinct tells me to protect her at all costs, even my own happiness."

 _I think perhaps we have spoiled you._ He sighed when my head shot up and I stared at him in shock. _You have always been able to read our thoughts and_ _respond accordingly. We haven't made you work at communicating with us._ "Now you're going to have to figure that out. I will help you, of course, but the specifics of communicating with Bella are going to be up to you." He hesitated. "Do you still believe that she is your mate."

"With every cell in my body. It is even more clear to me now that she is a vampire, and although I worry about her soul, I still see so much of her there that I know the change didn't take her away from me. I just worry that my actions have, although she has promised to work on our relationship with me."

"Then she will. You're right. She hasn't changed so much, and Bella is nothing if not constant in her ability to forgive." _I must believe that, as much for myself as for you. I don't want to lose this chance at having another daughter and completing my family._ Underneath his main thoughts was worry about what would happen to me if Bella rejected me as her mate. I knew it was possible, but I was determined to work things out with her so that she would stay.

Carlisle pushed away from the log and smiled at me. "Let's get back."

I followed him this time, my thoughts occupied by my worries. Bella seemed so different in many ways. Getting a read on her was more difficult than ever, and it was never easy to begin with. What would the next year hold? Could I convince her that our love was strong enough to survive this test? Could I reign myself in and give her the support she needed without the control I wanted?

Only time would tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if you noticed, but in the last chapter Bella specifically did not ask Carlisle for an apology or make an attempt to forgive him. I'll touch on that more in the next chapter.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I missed yesterday. I was wiped from a twelve-hour work shift, and I needed to get to bed almost as soon as I got home so that I could wake up early this morning and take a physical fitness test. (But hey, I passed my test!) 
> 
> This is the last full chapter. I hope you all enjoy it. I will post a short epilogue tomorrow.

BPOV

Three months. Sometimes it felt as if time passed in the blink of an eye. Other times, the seconds crawled by at less than a snail's pace. I often found myself wishing that I could tell my parents about some cool new thing I saw or did that I never would have experienced as a human, and then I caught myself. Even the couple emails I had sent them were bare bones, revealing nothing of my location as Carlisle had suggested from the beginning.

Carlisle. I frowned when I thought of him. Our breach still wasn't completely healed, although I always accepted the olive branches he offered my way. Something held me back, though. I didn't like admitting it, even to myself, but I still resented him for the part he played in Edward's decision to leave.

He was Edward's creator. He'd spent decades with the man he claimed as a son, but he hadn't used any of that paternal wisdom or influence to convince him that his idea was completely ridiculous. As far as I knew, he hadn't counseled him to talk with me first before he agreed to pack everyone up and leave. While I could forgive the others for blindly following Edward's idea--that's what the Cullens did, after all, supporting each other on the tough decisions when one of them made a mistake--I had a difficult time forgiving Carlisle. He was supposed to be the leader of the family. Where was his leadership when I needed it? This lack left me in no doubt that he loved Edward more than he could ever love me.

Footsteps warned me that I was about to have company on the back deck where I liked to come and watch the sunset. I kept my eyes trained on the streaks of red and gold, so prominent up here with the clear, crisp air and lack of pollution. I could tell who was who by the patterns these days, and I wasn't sure how to respond to him seeking me out.

"You look like you're deep in thought." Carlisle reached the railing next to me and stood looking out as well, although from the corner of my eye I could see that he gave his attention to the trees below us.

"I've got a lot to think about these days."

We stood in silence for a while. I could hear the others inside, talking and laughing. I debated turning around to join them.

"Esme pointed out something the other day," he began. I held my breath. "She said I haven't apologized yet for almost leaving you back in Forks. It's taken me a few days to figure out why."

I kept my eyes on the sun as it dipped below the horizon.

"When you came into our lives, I wanted it for Edward's sake. However, you found a place in my heart as surely as any of my children. I honestly believed that he would change his mind, even down to the last second. When he showed up at the hospital that night, I thought it was to tell me he was wrong. That he couldn't leave you. And when I found out the danger you were in because of his actions and our decisions to support him, I was furious. Furious at him, at us, and at you."

"At me?" I whipped around and glared at him. "How was any of it my fault?"

He shook his head. "I didn't say it made sense. I was angry that you left with no word to anyone. There were so many things that could have happened to you out there. At the time, I thought that if you had stayed in Forks, you would have been safe. But you didn't, and you wouldn't have been." He held up a hand. "I'm not blaming you for what happened. But a parent is always going to be worried and even terrified in a situation like that. And no matter what you may think, I have felt like a parent to you for almost a year. Unlike my interactions with the others, I was able to meet you as a younger human and get to know you as you grew older, if only for a short time. The way I felt about you was subtly different than my other children, and still is even if you are no longer vulnerable in that way."

He sighed and folded his own arms as he turned to look at me. "And that's why I was so angry with myself. I failed to protect you, in more ways than one. As for Edward, he put me in the position to choose between the two of you."

I snorted and folded my arms across my stomach. "Some choice. You were willing to leave me behind without a backward glance."

He chuckled, and my frown deepened. "Not quite. I had Emmett put a tracer on the hospital's electronic records system before he headed out the day after your birthday. It was set to notify me whenever you came into the ER. I figured it would help me keep track of you until you moved onto college. I was willing to find another way when the time came."

My eyebrows shot up. "Did Edward know?"

"Of course not. He would have tried to forbid it, but as much as I love him and agreed that we weren't the safest people for you to have in your life, I wasn't willing to give you up entirely. Esme supported me on that, and we hid what Emmett did from Edward together."

I remained silent, unsure of what to say now. He took a deep breath and looked back out over the trees.

"Also, I felt that Edward needed me more at that point. You had your father to help you with the separation, but Edward...well, Alice was with Jasper, and Emmett and Rosalie were determined not to follow us to the new location quite yet. Esme was grief-stricken until I made the arrangement with Emmett. I felt like I was all Edward had to lean on."

I felt a pang in my still heart at that. I could almost understand that. Torn between two people he loved like children, he chose the one he thought needed him most. But that didn't entirely wash away the bitterness I felt inside. I wished it could, and told him as much.

"I wish I could just wave a wand and forgive you." At my whisper, he moved closer and looped and arm around my shoulder, the first physical demonstration of caring I could remember from him other than a pat on my arm.

"I know it won't be that easy. But I'd like for us to try and work through this. I do see you as a daughter."

When all I could do was nod around the lump in my throat, he pressed a kiss to the top of my head and then dropped his arm. He walked back inside while I turned my attention back to the sun. Now a sliver of red above the trees, it slipped away as I lost myself in my thoughts once more.

As was becoming my habit, they drifted to Edward. He was trying so hard that every day my rage with him cooled one degree more. He walked around on eggshells with me, which I knew was no healthier than our previous unequal interactions, but I held firm to my belief that he had to be able to treat me as an adult, able to make my own decisions, before we could have any true partnership anyway. There was also the small problem that I still loved him, no matter how much I wished I didn't in the early days.

The small signs that my campaign for equality in Edward's eyes was working flooded the wall of my resolve. He no longer jumped forward to help me with the simplest tasks as if I couldn't do them on my own. When I asked Emmett and Jasper to teach me to fight a few weeks ago, Edward hung back and smiled. I could tell from the tightness that it was forced, but he didn't try to tell me not to do it. He didn't forbid our brothers from helping me.

He even stood up for me against Alice a week ago. She tried to get me to model the two dozen new outfits she bought to replace the ones I ruined while hunting. I preferred to read instead since I had just managed to figure out the exact amount of pressure needed to turn pages without ripping them. Edward told her to back off. It was the first time he ever did more than shrug when she tried to play Bella Barbie, and I felt love swell and overtake the rage completely for several minutes then.

I didn't bother with my surroundings until I heard several people walking around the house. No, make that two people. Curious, I looked down. What I saw made me see red.

Edward's movements were stiff, something Tanya, latched onto his arm, either didn't notice or care about. Neither one said anything, but I could tell she was thinking something that made him miserable. From the look in her eyes and the way she tried to press herself up against him while walking, I knew without a doubt that her thoughts were sexual in nature. Alice told me weeks ago that Edward has been avoiding Tanya for years because she, out of the three sisters, has yet to give up on her quest to get him in bed.

Of course, hearing that she wanted him in bed with her at any point was enough to make the venom in my veins boil, but thankfully Alice told me that while we were hunting alone, away from any of the others. She and Edward were the only ones anyone trusted to take me out by myself since they could help me avoid humans the best. So far, Edward had let me decide whether I wanted to go alone with him, so I usually wrangled at least one of the others to come with us. I wasn't ready to be alone with him yet.

Not anymore. I might not have forgiven him completely for almost leaving me in Forks, but there was no doubt in my mind that the time would come and then we would be mates in truth. And this blond tramp wasn't going to get in my way, not that I thought Edward wanted her at all. After all, apparently she'd already given him plenty of opportunities, and Alice had assured me that he never once took her up on it.

I dropped down from the balcony and landed in front of them, marveling yet again in my physical abilities for a tenth of a second. I ignored Tanya and smiled at Edward, who stepped forward eagerly. "I'm thirsty. Would you take me hunting?"

Before he could reply, Tanya interrupted in a sweet voice, "If you really need to go out again for the second time in two days, of course we'll take you."

I shifted my eyes toward her for the first time and narrowed them, pretending to think. "Hmm, no thanks, Tanya. You're not my type, or Edward's either from what I can tell. And I'd like some time alone with Edward."

There. I said it out loud, and the world didn't explode. Neither did I, my rage hardly present at all. Tanya was less than happy with my phrasing or the way that Edward pulled out of her grasp without a backward glance. His eyes were focused on me with an intensity that made me want to shy away. I wasn't about to let that happen with the stakes so high, though. Tanya needed to know her place.

Edward held out his hand, a habit he'd developed over the last few months. He always gave me the option of whether I wanted to take it or not, and for the first time that made me sad. I pushed that to the back of my mind so that I could deal with the current situation, though. I curled my fingers between his, the usual buzz of electricity feeling right for the first time since my change.

"Edward, are you going to let her talk to me like that?" Tanya's shrill voice broke into my reverie, and I turned to glare at her as Edward did the same.

"Tanya, Bella and I are going hunting. Why don't you find something else to do?" Maybe he was a bit harsh there, but really, she brought it on herself. The dying embers of my newborn rage flared, pointed at Tanya this time.

She stared at us, her golden eyes wide with shock. Obviously, she never thought Edward would choose me over her in the end, but too bad about that. I tugged on his hand, and we turned away from her to run into the forest.

When we were out of earshot he slowed down to a walk, and I followed. "Thank you for rescuing me. You didn't have to."

"Did you enjoy whatever she was thinking at you?" I demanded, already knowing the answer before his snort confirmed it. "Then I had to. If anyone is going to torture you, it's going to be me."

"Oh? Are you my protector now?"

I stopped, suddenly unsure. I peeked up through my lashes and saw him smiling down at him. He looked entirely too smug, but I couldn't bring myself to be cruel to him anymore. I was tired of holding onto anger and pain. With that realization, it was easy to let go.

I raised my chin and tried to smile. "As much as you're mine. That's what a partnership is all about, right?"

His smile widened into a grin, the first completely happy expression I can remember seeing from him since my transformation. The last seam of the gaping hole in my heart, remnant of my last hours as a human, sealed shut at last when I saw it. I let my own smile grow.

"Partners? I like that."

"What about mates?"

I squealed as he scooped me up in his arms, surprising me. Now I could look right into his eyes there, and if I thought he looked happy before, now he was transcendent. It warmed me to think that I put that emotion there.

"Whatever you want, Bella."

"Forever?"

"Forever."

Our lips met to seal the promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There. Bella's relationship with Carlisle is on the mend, and she and Edward are fully reconciled. Tanya got the brush off she deserved and should take the hint from now on!


	10. Chapter 10

I hid behind a tree and waited, my eyes locked on the sight before me. A white house, the siding sagging a bit with age, with a wooden porch and a rusty red truck in the drive.

"Is he back yet?"

"You'll know before I will." That rankled.

He chuckled and stayed silent.

I heard it before I saw it. The police cruiser pulled into view minutes later and parked alongside the truck. A tall man got out and walked around to the other side. I drank in the sight of his dark hair, more silver than my cloudy memories said it should be. He looked tired but happy. My heart clenched. Charlie wore his uniform, of course. This was an important day.

My father reached out and opened the car door. A woman stepped out wearing a simple dark blue dress, a string of small freshwater pearls around her neck. She grabbed Charlie's hand and squeezed, her smile lighting up a face that might have been familiar once. I saw gold glinting on each left hand in the dim sunlight, reminding me of the old-fashioned diamonds and gold I now sported.

"What's he thinking?"

"That he wishes you would come home to meet your new stepmother."

I frowned. "I told him why I couldn't in my last email. I have a lot of studying to do, and classes have just started."

"He remembers, and he's proud of you for making it on your own in L.A. He still wishes you were here."

The fabrication I had fed to my human family for the past year felt as hollow as ever. There was no G.E.D., not yet, and no starting college somewhere bright and sunny. I had barely passed Jasper and Carlisle's last test before they let me come here for this, only eleven months after my change.

"I don't really remember Sue," I confessed. "I really only know what he's told me the last few months."

"She's in love with him, although she regrets that at the same time. She's trying not to feel as if her love for your father is a betrayal of her love for her dead husband. She keeps repeating words from her grief counselor every time he talks to her."

"Can she make him happy?"

"That's what Alice says, and I saw some of her visions. They'll have a good life, Bella."

I nodded and then sighed as the two humans moved into the house. I could still hear them, but once they were out of sight, the moment seemed too private to spy on.

"Let's go home. Esme said the plaster should be dry soon, and we still need to paint."

I took his hand and let him lead me away. This time I didn't glance back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end, my friends. I hope you've enjoyed this journey into "what might have been" with me!


End file.
